Difference between College Freshmen and College Seniors

Freshmen: Are never in bed past noon.
Seniors: Are never out of bed before noon.

Freshmen: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut.
Seniors: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend.

Freshmen: Brings a can of soda into lecture hall.
Seniors: Brings a jumbo of hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.

Freshmen: Calls the professor “Professor.”
Seniors: Calls the professor “Bob.”

Freshmen: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Seniors: Drive to class if it’s further than three blocks away.

Freshmen: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Seniors: Memorizes the professor’s habits to get a good grade.

Freshmen: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
Seniors: Knows where the next class is. Maybe…

Freshmen: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Seniors: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box or pop tarts in hand.

Freshmen: Have to ask where the computer labs are.
Seniors: Has “own” personal workstation.

Freshmen: Use the campus buses to go everywhere.
Seniors: Use the campus buses to run block while crossing the street.

Freshmen: Worry about the last freshman composition essay.
Seniors: Worry about the last GRE essay.

Freshmen: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October…maybe.

Freshmen: Looks forward to first class of the year.
Senior: Looks forward to first beer garden of the year.

Freshman: Is proud his A+ on Calculus I midterm.
Senior: Is proud of not_quite_failing his Complex Analysis midterm.

Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other night.
Senior: Calls Domino’s every other night.

Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of profs.
Senior: Is appalled that the campus “Subway” burned down over the summer.

Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions.
Senior: Offers to “tutor” conscientious frosh of opposite sex…

Freshman: Goes on grocery shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus.
Senior: Has a beer with Mom before before moving onto campus.

Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one’s horizons and really makes a contribution to society.
Senior: Is excited about new dryers in the laundry room.

Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class.
Senior: Occasionally stay awake for all of class.

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  • rebecca

    wow this was really funny
    im only 15 but am planning for college now-yeah im really goal oreinted =)