Masturbating, everyone does it
Masturbating is just another part of the college experience.
Of all the things you won’t tell your parents about college, this is high on the list. It’s not illegal by any stretch of the imagination, but you probably don’t want to be caught doing it. It was the topic of what’s arguably the best “Seinfeld” episode ever and the inspiration for several hilarious scenes in “American Pie.”
Masturbation.
Now, before you click over to a porn site so you can just get it over with without having to think, say it out loud a few times to get comfortable discussing the idea.
Masturbation, masturbation, masturbation.
Recent surveys suggest that 95% of men make their rooster crow and 60% of women do the two-fingered shuffle, but walk around a college campus asking for information on the sticky subject and you’re likely to get some strange looks, or worse.
But if everyone is doing it, what’s the problem talking about it? A general sense of not wanting to reveal our own inadequacies, especially sexual ones, prevails for many of us. “Who wants to announce to the world to that they’re not getting any?” asks Brandon Jones, a former resident advisor at Georgia State University.
Apparently no one wants to hear about it. Former U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders resigned her post after suggesting that American children be taught about masturbation as an alternative to sex, so there’s precedent to not wanting to discuss what we do undercover when we’re alone.
But masturbation does exist, and we all do it. Even the most prudish, outwardly conservative, attached guy who denies it at every turn is home some nights stroking his shlong. And why not? It’s fun. It’s another fact of life, and not just for guys.
While surveys often find women are less prone than men to pleasuring themselves, Kerry Woods, a senior at Penn, said members of the fairer sex don’t abstain from themselves.
“Most girls do it,” Woods said. “They start when they’re eight or nine years old.” Still, she hadn’t gone through her own curtains until she arrived at college. So, like any college student trying new things, she extended herself. “I was talking about it with my friends and they all did it,” she said. “I was jealous. I asked them how and they gave me tips.” Twenty minutes later, she was a new woman.
Woods says now she masturbates when she wants, but that usually if there is a man in her life, he’s there to do it for her. “I wasn’t doing it because I needed play,” she says. “I was doing it because it’s something every woman should do.”
There are dozens of methods for both men and women to please themselves (including everything from the old reliable methods to autofellatio and autocunnilingus — if you’re flexible), and the end usually justifies the means. Whether that includes videos, magazines, cyberporn (just don’t use your roommate’s computer, or wipe if off if you must), it’s all good.
Masturbation is a normal, routine (more for some than others) part of life. It doesn’t mean you’re sexually inept, nor does it mean you’re unattractive. So when its about that time, break out the (insert prop/magazine title here) and go to town. Just make sure you clean up afterwards.
Ryan Ferone wishes people talked more openly about masturbation. He thinks we’d all be happier.
Image Courtesy: lacoctelera.com
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