10 Ways to Add Confusion to a College Cafeteria

Do you hate the food at your College Cafeteria? Ever wished that after obtaining your food, you proceed to throw it out the nearest window and turn to the person nearest to you and say, “Wow! Did you ever see [name of dish] fly like that before?”

Following is a top 10 list of the number of ways you can add confusion to a college cafeteria.

1. Hide behind the milk dispenser. Moo every time someone gets milk.

2. Stand in line for the food. After getting your food, smear it over your clothes and return to the end of the line. Repeat.

3. Instead of getting a fork, knife, and spoon, get three spoons. Cut your meat with them and pretend not to notice.

4. Do not to use glasses. Anytime you feel like having a drink, go up to the liquid dispenser, wrap your mouth around it, and press the button. Complain that it goes too fast.

5. Stand next to the salad bar. Every time someone reaches for some food, yell, “Hey!” and shake your head.

6. Every time someone takes a bite of their food, laugh uncontrollably. Stop suddenly and warn everyone not to laugh. Then take a bite of yours while giving everyone an evil eye.

7. Switch the label on skim milk with the one on whole milk.

8. Yell to someone walking by, “I’ll take two hot dogs, and my son will have some peanuts.”

9. Dress up in coat and tie. Find a table where everyone’s done eating. Inform them of the daily special desserts and take their orders.

10. Bring in a cordless or cellular phone. Order pizza.

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