Oral sex can be just fabulous. It’s something that should be celebrated and enjoyed fully. So if you’re going to go down on a woman, don’t just do it — do it right.
You can’t wave your tongue in the direction of a woman’s private parts and expect her to convulse in a mind-blowing orgasm then fall to her knees thanking you. You don’t need to be a box gourmet to chow it delightfully — while there is skill involved, being tuned into a woman’s mood and sensations is more important than all the strength your tongue can muster.
First things first: don’t just yank down her cute little panties and have at it. “Don’t rush it,” says Brooke Matteo*, a junior at Dickinson College. “It’s a very sensitive area.” In other words, she says, give the rest of the body some attention and make a “slow prelude” to the big eat-vent.
When you finally get down there, don’t hurry. “Start out slowly and build up the speed as you go,” advises Melissa Wayner, a recent UNC-Wilmington grad who currently works as an animal trainer in Charlotte, NC.
Oral sex is pretty intimate, but it becomes even more intimate when there’s plenty of physical connection between you. Don’t just lie and lick; stroke her thighs or hold her around her legs, Melissa says.
Also, don’t hide in her silky depths. Look at her. Make eye contact, at least occasionally, to see how she’s doing and so she can see how you’re doing.
Each woman has her own personal preferences when it comes to oral pleasure. Be aware of her reactions and body language as you try different things. While Alana Johnson, a senior at Randolph-Macon College, thoroughly enjoys “lapping and insertion of the tongue” into her vagina, Melissa prefers gentle clit flicking. Melissa also likes “dual action” — that is, fingers and tongue working together.
Play around, and see what gets a rise out of her. But always, if you’re trying a new strategy, “be gentle at first,” Melissa warns. If she doesn’t seem to like what you’re trying, don’t go there anymore.
Above all else, though, both parties need to be into it. Don’t act like you’re doing her a big favor or you’re disgusted by the act. If that’s how you feel, you don’t deserve to be close to female genitalia. It’s an amazing part of the body, so appreciate it for all it does — and what it can do for you.
Make sure, too, that the recipient of your tongue-lovin’ is enjoying herself. She needs to be in the mood for it. Unlike guys, women don’t always have oral sex first on their agenda — don’t force a descent if she doesn’t want you down there.
“Make sure she’s comfortable,” Lisa Johnson (Brooke’s older sister and a recent graduate of Randolph-Macon) says. Alana agrees. “Let the woman lie on her back and relax. Service her; don’t make her sit up or hold herself in some uncomfortable position,” she says.
The more comfortable you both get, the more likely you are to get off — and get off good.
Women should know
If you’re a female on the receiving end of oral sex, well, lucky you. While you should sit back, relax, and enjoy it, you should keep in mind that you’re still involved in the situation. Oral sex is an intimate sexual act, so tune in.
“Scream and pull my hair. That’s why I’m doing it,” says John Viera, a senior at Boston College. If you’re not a screamer, don’t worry. The point is, let them know you’re enjoying it. And if you’re not enjoying it, let them know why.
And pay attention to personal hygiene. “Trim, please,” Viera says. Oral sex givers have different preferences, but many like to find that they won’t come away with a mouthful of overgrown pubes. Even more important, though, is cleanliness. It can get a little rank down there if you haven’t showered in a few days.
No need to scour the surface, just “wash well, wash often,” advises Mike Ortega, a recent graduate of the Berklee College of Music. Viera agrees. “A gentle daily scrub, with soap, works for me. I like a pleasant, natural taste and scent.”
Performing oral sex on a woman isn’t generally considered among the riskiest of sexual behaviors, but anytime fluids are exchanged you need to be careful. According to Planned Parenthod, “Oral sex without barrier protection and sharing sex toys are potential methods of transmitting infection.”Try using a dental dams or cut-open latex condoms as a barrier to reduce your risk of infection during oral sex.*All names have been changed.*All names have been changed.*All names have been changed.
*All names have been changed.
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