Finally, you’ve met someone who’s hot, smart and, amazingly enough, wants to have sex with you. You’ve braved the line at the drugstore, bought dozens of brightly colored condoms and now you can’t wait to try ‘em out.Hold on a second, stud. While condom use seems elementary — tear open, roll on, have sex, repeat — there’s actually a right and wrong way to do it. And doing it the wrong way could lead to an accident — one that might result in pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.
Since Condom 101 will never be a course in school and it’s a little embarrassing to ask your roommate (who, like you, would never admit to not knowing), we have created, with the assistance of the American Social Health Association, a detailed guide guaranteed to increase your pleasure and reduce your risk of all the bad stuff associated with unsafe sex.
Make sure it’s fresh
You know that condom you’ve had in your wallet since junior high? Throw it out. For one thing, it’s probably expired. Condoms have expiration dates on their packaging — check it. Also, condoms should also be kept in cool places out of direct sunlight. That’s because latex can become brittle from changes in temperatures, rough handling and age. If a condom looks damaged, discolored, brittle or sticky, cough up a few bucks and buy a fresh pack.
2. Put it on your willy
Whoa, cowboy. I know you’re excited, but opening condoms with your teeth can tear the condom. Open the wrapper with extreme care. Once you have the condom out of its packaging, squeeze the tip to let the air out as you put it on, unrolling it all the way down the shaft of the erect penis. If it’s not the kind that has a tip for your sperm to swim into, leave a half-inch space at the head. If your condom doesn’t roll, throw it out and grab a new one. Once the condom is in place, smooth out any air bubbles before plunging into your partner.
3. Lubricate, Lubricate, Lubricate
There’s no question lubrication can make sex a lot smoother. But like condoms, all lubricants are not created equal. You want to use one that is water based, not one made of baby oil, hand lotion, Vaseline, or vegetable oil. (Don’t ask.) Any oil-based material can cause condoms to deteriorate.
4. Oops! What to do if something goes wrong
Even if you lubricate with the right stuff, bad things happen sometimes. If the condom breaks anytime during sex, withdraw immediately and put on a new one. If you don’t realize the condom broke until it’s too late, have your partner seek emergency contraception from a health clinic just in case.
After you finish, get that penis out of there while it’s still hard. Hold the bottom of the condom in place as you pull out so it doesn’t slip off and spill. And if you’re lucky enough to go at it again, use a new condom. This is one time recycling is not a good thing.If you liked this article, click here to buy me a beer!