Having sex for the first time? Here’s what to expect.
The first time, a.k.a. losing it, being deflowered, breaking the seal, losing your innocence, popping the cherry — there are lots of names for it. But when you’ve decided to have sex for the first time, the names don’t matter. What matters is being ready and having some idea of what it’s all about.
Pre-Play
When the big day (or more likely, night) arrives, no matter how you set it up — with candles, champagne, and sexy lingerie, or as just another night — it’s bound to be more exciting, and at least a little more nerve wracking, than your standard hook-up.
So do yourself a few favors. First, have protection ready. There’s enough to worry about without having to add concern about contracting an infection or dealing with a pregnancy. If you don’t have a supply of condoms, go get some. Frank Littlefield*, a senior at Boston University, remembers making a fast trip to the store on his first night. He was at a friend’s house for a holiday party. When he discovered both he and his (also virginal) partner were latex-less, he “ran to the drug store. I grabbed one of those 75-cent single packs, and sprinted back. She was waiting for me.”
Next, get in the mood. This is supposed to be fun, so relax and enjoy it. Turn on some sexy music, and then it’s time for — hey guys, are you paying attention? — foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. The more excited and worked up you both are, the easier and smoother the whole thing will be.
Getting In
Take it from the veterans: Penetration is rarely as easy as it looks in the movies. So you can probably expect a little, er, poking around before the ship docks in the port. And don’t be surprised if a little manhandling is required. Sharon LaRusso, a senior at UCLA who lost her virginity at age 17, recalls the pre-entry moment as silly, but fun. “There were a few mis-pokes around my thighs. Then he guided it in with his hands,” she remembers.
Prior to experiencing sex, most virgins have heard from a variety of sources that the first time hurts for a woman. According to most women — and some men — this was their biggest concern about the whole experience. The truth? First-time sex may be a tad wince-worthy, but you’re not passing a kidney stone. “It hurt a little, but nowhere near as much as I’d expected,” says Lindsay Kelly, a senior at the University of Delaware who lost it at age 19. Gretchen Lazlo, a sophomore at Colby College and a virgin till age 16, says, “It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I wouldn’t call it painful.”
According to these same women, the best way to make it as painless as possible can be summed up in two words: Go slow. John Tatum of Emory University remembers asking his partner, who was also a virgin, several times how she was doing and if it hurt. “I knew that if she didn’t like it the first time, she probably wouldn’t want to sleep with me again!” he says. “So I was gentle, and kept checking in with her to make sure everything was OK. Later, she told me she was so glad I did that.”
The Act
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: First time out, the big O is mainly the domain of the guys. No, it’s not fair, but that’s just the way it is. If you’re a female and you’re with someone who is very experienced, there’s a chance you might be sent into waves of orgasmic ecstasy, but don’t count on it. “I don’t know of anyone who [had an orgasm] the first time,” says Lindsay. Sharon agrees: “It was at least a year before I came while having sex.”
For guys, by most accounts, the first time is a quickie. Most guys I talked to estimated their first time lasted about 1-3 minutes. At best. “Put it this way: I could have beat Maurice Green,” says Dave Wayland of Princeton University. So coming quickly is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you’re with a more experienced girl, then “they know what to expect from you” says Frank. If you’re with another virgin, you really don’t have to worry. Hannah Kischler, a junior at Smith College, says her first time was “mercifully quick,” since the first time for her “was fun, but it wasn’t generally enjoyable from a physical point of view.”
Experimenting with different positions may not be the best thing your first time around — unless, of course you’re with someone who has more experience than you and who is comfortable taking you through the steps. Most men and women, however, find that the missionary position works just fine for that first test run.
Many novices worry about rhythm. Don’t. Rhythm is something that comes with practice, and from getting to know how your partner moves. “I definitely didn’t know what I was doing,” recalls Barry Glover, a senior at Drew University. “I didn’t really get the motions going. I never practiced on an apple pie or anything.” His recommendation? Slap on some tunes. Sexy tunes, that is. “It’s about slow, constant, steady rhythmical pressure. If you lack rhythm, like I did, try putting on music. It’s like dancing. Just move to the beat.”
Lindsay remembers the one thing that kept going through her mind. ‘I didn’t know what to do with my knees!” she laughs. It may seem trivial, but she, like many other men and women, remembers worrying about simple little things like their limbs. The best advice on this front — and overall — came from Jean Kirkpatrick, a recent graduate of Kenyon College. “There’s nothing you can do wrong. Okay, so you want to make sure you don’t hurt your partner. But outside of that, there’s absolutely nothing really right or really wrong you can do.”
Getting Out
Hey, you’ve done the deed. Congratulations. But don’t screw up now. Guys, when you pull out, grab the condom, hold on, and pull out slowly. Spillage is bad. You put that thing on for a reason, make sure you use it correctly. Don’t wait a long time to pull out, either. Instantaneous removal isn’t essential, but shrinkage can cause spillage, so watch out.
Aftermath
There are a few things you should know about after-sex. One is cleanup. Condoms are pretty neat and tidy, but have some Kleenex (or at least an old T-shirt) handy just in case.
Another is the smell. You may have heard people talk about the smell of sex, but you probably don’t know what it is till you’ve done it. Barry loved it then, and loves it now. He first smelled it after having sex for the first time at age 16. “Mmmm. I didn’t shower for two days!” he reminisces. Now, while we don’t necessarily recommend this particular course of action, a little reveling in the scent isn’t a bad thing.
Finally, while guys won’t be left with many physical reminders after their first time, women might notice a little bleeding. No big deal — it should hardly be enough to qualify as spotting, and should go away quickly. “I noticed a little blood in the shower afterward, but it was gone by the next morning,” says Gretchen. Women might also be a little sore or tender the day after, but that feeling should also go away soon.
So good luck, and remember: No one really knows what to do the first time around. But folks have been successfully bonking for millions of years. They all figured it out. And you will too. So relax, take it slow, and don’t worry about any sexual snafus. Just do what seems natural and comfortable. “There won’t be any swinging from the chandeliers at first,” says Sharon. “That’ll happen in time. You have to figure out what works with the person you’re with. And that’s true when you’re with any new person for the first time — it doesn’t matter if it’s your first lover, or your tenth.”
So, the rundown… the spark notes version to having sex for the first time and tips to make it even better
Talk it up. Not with your friends — although they might be able to give you some good advice. Talk to you partner before the big night. Talk about your experience, your concerns, your expectations. If you can talk about it before sex, it’ll be easier to talk about it during and after, too. And make sure to ask about your partner’s sexual history. Consider getting tested together to make sure you’re both clean.
Rubbers, gloves, latex, protection Call ‘em what you will. Have condoms on hand. (Oh — in case you weren’t paying attention — use condoms.)
Size might matter. We’ve all heard theories on whether or not penis size matters. We don’t have any answers to the age-old question here, but we can tell you that penis size can make a difference if it’s your first time. If a guy is particularly large, entry and sex can be a bit more tedious for everyone involved. Just make sure you take it slow.
Live and learn. Having some “all but” (as in “all but sex”) experience helps. If you’ve previously been initiated into the joys of making out, feeling up, and giving and receiving oral sex, then sex itself is a whole lot less intimidating. You’re already comfortable with squirts, spurts, and other bodily functions.
Lube job. If you’re having trouble getting in, or if you’re experiencing pain after penetration, you may want to have some KY jelly or other non-oil-based lubricant on hand. If you don’t feel comfortable with lubricant, use a natural substitute — saliva can work wonders. Let there be light? Lights on or off, it’s entirely up to you. Sex is sex, light or no light. But it may help to know that many first timers recommend darkness. You’ll both probably be less self-conscious that way.
No crowded house. Make sure your door has a lock. Use it. The last thing you need is your roomie or anyone else detracting from your first bout in bed.
*All names have been changed to protect the no-longer innocent.
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im 19 years old im going to have sex for d 1st time all ma mates r proper freaking me out they say it hurts n u cnt get out of bed n that…
ive been married since i was 16 i got married abroad n like i was sexually abused when i was 10 and everytime my husband gets horny i feel like running 100 miles away from him.
no one knows. and the worst thing is that it was his older brother who sexually abused me i cnt evn tell him. i couldnt evn tell ma family. he made it out as it was all my fault. i dont know what to do. 
i feel like craaaaa4p :S plz help ppl
i dont know what to do i know it hurts him but i cnt help it. it all comes bk right infornt of ma face again.
WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!? GO to the cops! Run! Leave that state/province/etc! GO to friends, GO somewheres else!!!! And why the hell would you post that your fucking getting abused on a website?!?!?!?!? WTF!!?!?!
hun, it’s okay. Just 1. realise it’s not your fault. and 2. your husband would be gentle. If he truely loves you, tell him you were sexually abused. If you don’t want him to know it was his brother – just say a man did it. Just let him know what has happened, and why you are so skiddish about it. It’ll be okay. If your husband knows that, he [should] be more understanding. And he’ll take things slower. If you need someone to talk to you can confide in a friend, your husband, or someone you trust. Or you can get a psychiatrist, though that’s quite pricey. If you want you can talk to me, though I’m a complete stranger (then again so is a psychiatrist, but I won’t charge you). I understand your fear, and having those flashbacks. I am not you, so I don’t understand completely. But I’ve had my own experience(s). panda_chicka@hotmail.com
It’s okay, hun, you’re not alone. (Yes I know this sort of sounds cliche, but I will help if you want. I’m a personal psychiatrist for all my friends too.)
t4mm13, follow ur heart (as cheesy as it sounds). if your husband loves you and respects you then he should respect your decisions. and as far as the sexually abused concept, maybe its best if you are up front and honest with you hubby as to why your so afraid. it may hurt him, confuse him, get him angry or whatever, but its the truth. if your honest with him, he should respect you much more with just the thought of what u went through. talk to him. thats the best thing i can think of doing. best of luck.
i dunw what to do :S i dont want to tell him because . it was his older bro that sexually abused me when i was 10 i dunw what ta say n how ta tell him :S
hi t4mm 13, this is john ..and i would like to tell u one thing…if u really feel uve done wrong …say this prayer ” jesus forgive me , a sinner” ………now arise and tell this to ur bf before that tell him hes the one uve always loved and will be loving forever!!!… dont worry he ll comprehend u and will forgive u….
And yeah “John Smith” you need to shut up. We dont need your god shit. What if she believes in a different god? That would be an insult. Personally, I dont think a god exists. If he did, he would have done shit already.
dude… i agree … i dont believe in god but the girl shud just say it
what do u believe?who created u?do u thing u are from nothing?is GOD who created all creatures whenever they are, dont u know that ?if u denied GOD then tell me who created u ?i think u are confused pls take u time and think about it and believe u creature and the sustainer of all this world.anyway whether u believe or not GOD EXIST and u will know him the day he will take u soul or when u die……..
well, do whatever YOU feel is right. and if your gonna tell him, tell him calmly and with all honesty. i dont think its gonna be as bad telling him as you think it will be. i know it probably seems terrifying. but if he really like, trusts your judgements and loves you and believes you, then he shouldnt take it as hard. and also, not to sound like creepy, but if you ever need anyone to talk to or vent your feelings, im here too and like i totally understand how you feel.
yeh but the thing it was a n arranged marriage n i toatally refused to it first but i like him i dunw if he likes me. buh i got a feeling that hes cheating on me :S
i think ur a fake, a attention seeker more like.
u always have a story to back another one up.
hike off.
wow..and arranged marraige. and you really shouldnt have any doubts of him staying loyal if this is a healthy relationship. But it sounds like you do have some doubts, which isnt good. first off, why do you think he’s cheating on you??
becoz hes aways out the country neva wit me :S
im not sure what to do the first time and how od you get rid of the smell
I’m 18 and about to have sex for the first time.
Im extremely nervous and wanted to
get answers about the whole thing, and this did it.
Very good read.
ok heres the thing, i love my boyfriend with everything that i am. he loves me the same way. im only 15 rite now but i’l b 16 next month on the 11, rics gona b 18. im scared that i mite not make it enjoyable for him. we both r virgins and i dont want to turn him off of sex. we want to get married but its quite difficult with our situation. see ric lives in northcarolina and i live in new jersey. no one really knws that we are together my parents wld freak. im gona go to college dwn there, in n.c. but hes gona b 20 and me 18 not that big of a difference. my worry is that hes gona wait to be with me but that wen we finally do get to making love he wont like it. jst wanted to hear some ppls thought.
I don’t think there’s really any way for him to not enjoy it. The concern should be on making sure you’re comfortable with it all and making it as enjoyable for you.
Besides, if he truly loves you then it won’t matter to him what the sex is like. If he truly loves you then you have nothing to worry about.
ok. im 17…. and my bf is 22. i was also sexually abused at 10, i told him and he understood. but im not ready for sex. i mean my brain wants it but my emotions get scared when he pulles it out. i love him, he loves me. we always turn on eachother.. then he’s like babe i wanna do you. i tell him im not ready all the way. he says ok but continues to bring it up.
Does Sex hurt. its my 1st time. im scared seeing he is very experienced and me not so much. what do i do???
I’m so sorry to hear about the sexual abuse you had. No one deserves that. It’s horrible.
If you’re not ready to have sex, for any reason, then stick to that. Never ever give in to anyone just because they want to have sex. It is your decision, not theirs.
If your boyfriend continues to ask you to have sex despite you explaining why you’re not ready, then he doesn’t take it seriously and doesn’t understand, even though he says he does.
My advice is to tell him again that you’re not ready, and that he shouldn’t keep asking you about it. Tell him that if he loves you then he should stop asking and respect your decision. If he still won’t drop it then tell him that if he wants sex so much, to go and have it with someone else. Don’t worry, if he does love you, then he won’t even think about doing it, but it will hopefully get it through to him.
You shouldn’t have to put up him asking all the time. Just make sure you stick firmly to what you feel is right for you.
hi i had sex for the 1st time early in the moring and i was bleeding and its10pm and im still bleeding what is up w/ that?
omg how long do you bleed for :s
hi,
I’m 17 and so is my boyfriend. we have been going out for 1 and a half years. We have tired having sex about 4 times now and its just not working out. I’m not really sure what to do, we’ve tried foreplay but nothing seems to work. Hes starting to just give up after one try. I’m not sure what to do cause i wanna do this for him and for me. I know where both ready but i feel like im failing him somehow. i really need help, is he too big and am i too small? i need help please someone. ?
hey max power its missy from awhile ago and i thought i would just let you know that me and my boyfriend broke up i found out he was cheating me and i know its true cuz i walked in on them having sex :/ but anyways i wanna thank you for helping me relieze its good to wait to have sex and i am really glad i didnt do it with him all this brought out the real him and i didnt like that part so yeah thank you so much
Hey Missy! I’m so sorry to hear that your boyfriend cheated on you. What an absolute jerk! That must have been so painful for you, walking in on them like that. Good thing you didn’t end up sleeping with him then.
I agree, it’s good that all this brought out the real him. He’s a real jerk, and until he cheated on you, you couldn’t see it. As horrible as it is that he cheated on you, I actually see it as a good thing because now you’ve seen what he’s really like. If he didn’t cheat on you now, he most likely would have years down the track. It’s better to find out now. And I’m sorry to say that he didn’t truly love you, but it’s good to find that out now rather than later too.
I’m glad I was able to help you! That makes all of my rambling posts in here worthwhile. I hope you end up finding a really nice guy who loves you for who you are, not for whether or not you’ll sleep with him.
im so sorry about ur abuse but u may not believe me on dis but plz do im 12 years old and my girl wants 2 do wit me im scared ur older youve probabliy did by now and i need ur help plz help:(
Well that’s quite a problem since you’re only 12 years old. You’re still a kid. Just say to her, “as much as I like you, we’re too young to have sex, and I think we should wait until we’re older.” If she can’t accept that then tell her it’s too bad. If she doesn’t want to be with you because of that, then let her leave, because it shows that she doesn’t actually care about you.
Don’t be afraid to say no. Whether or not you have sex is your decision, not your girlfriend’s or anyone else’s. There is nothing wrong with waiting. I’m 24 and have never had sex. I’ve been with my girlfriend since I was 15 and we want to wait until we’re married. If you want to wait, then go ahead and wait.
Something else to think about as well is the consequences of sex. No matter how much protection you use, there’s always a chance that you’ll get your girlfriend pregnant if you have sex. You’re only 12. Could you honestly handle the responsibility of having a baby? Could you work to support it? Or buy a house for it to live in? Or even drive it to the doctors if it was sick? The only way to guarantee that your girlfriend doesn’t get pregnant is to not have sex.
I seriously agree with max. I had a boyfriend who wanted to have sex when we were 13 and I just wasn’t ready. I told him no again and again and eventually he pushed it too far. Don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself. Sex is very personal and is only enjoyed when both people are ready and trust each other. You won’t have fun if you’re not ready. If this girl doesn’t accept that you are not ready, then she is not worth your time. Everyone has boundaries, don’t be afraid to stand by yours. Best of luck.
myself and my boyfriend want to have sex and we;re both virgins. we’re both very comfortable with each other and trust each other completely. the problem is, several of my friends experienced serious pain and one of them began to cry and had to stop. these girls are not complete pansies either, they have seriously high tolerances for pain. i’ve read a lot on how to avoid pain but unfortunately my bf is over 6 feet tall and is fully proportionate. This is an issue because I’m 5′1″ and a very tiny person. Any suggestions on how to make this as least painful as possible?
0KAY S0 iVE HEARD WHEN Y0U HAVE SEX F0R THE FiRST TiME, Y0U LiKE BLEED ALL 0VER THE BED AND STUFF? iS THiS TRUE? FR0M READiNG THE ARTiCLE ^^ iT JUST SAYS Y0U MAY HAVE SLiGHT SP0TTiNG WHiCH D0ESNT S0UND LiKE WHAT i TH0UGHT iT W0ULD BE LiKE?
I’m a male about to have sex for the first time, and she’s not, any adivce should she be on top or me? and she don’t know i’m a virgin, i can’t tell her!
Cee, if you’re not close enough to this girl to tell her you’re a virgin then you shouldn’t be having sex with her. There’s no harm in waiting. If she can’t deal with that then tell her to get lost.
me and this guy want to have sex but we arnt going out and we are only 15. we talk about it all the time and he isnt pressuring me but i feel weird about it. i also am afraid that if we do that i will have no idea what i am doing and yea he wont enjoy him self. and i was wondering if it is the chick who only herts the first time can you please help and give me some instructions or techniques on what to do because i am definatly doing it
Ive been going out with this guy for 6 months. he told everyone he cares about me but he didn’t get me anything for my birthday. Im really confused with him n i know he wanna have sex with me so bad. he did help me a lot in the past but im not sure if he loves me. he is nice n caring but im still unsure. it’s my first time but not his, should i ask how many women he slept with n should i have sex with him?
btw im 19 n he’s 20. i love him but i really cant stand him having sex with other women be4 cuz i never had it with any men
If you’re not sure if he loves you, then don’t have sex with him. If he truly loves you then you’ll definitely know. I would have though that if he loved you he would have got you a present for your birthday. That seems odd to me.
I have no doubt that he wants to have sex with you really bad. You know why? Because he’s a horny guy. Him wanting to have sex with you should have no impact on your decision on whether or not to have sex with him. It’s your decision, not his. If he can’t handle that, then tell him to get lost. If he truly loves you, then he won’t care if you don’t want to have sex yet. Simple as that.
If you’re his girlfriend, then you have every right to know how many girls he’s been with. I would definitely want to know if I was you.
I completely understand how you feel about him being with other girls before you. My girlfriend and I would both be uncomfortable if we’d had sex with other people before meeting. But then there are other people who truly love each other very much and it doesn’t bother them (or so they say). It comes down to your own personal feelings. It’s fine to be uncomfortable with the fact that he’s had sex with other girls before he was with you. It’s important to realise though that even though you might be uncomfortable with it, you can still love him.
Going only on what you’ve written in your post, if I was you I wouldn’t have sex with him. I believe you should wait until you at least know for certain that he does love you. And if he ever pressures you, then that’s a sign not to have sex with him. Someone who truly loves and cares about you would not pressure you about it.
Good luck with him.
Dear Max Power,
Me and this guy want to have sex, we are both virgins, and he wants me to be his first. The problem is we aren’t dating, because he doesn’t want his friends to make fun of hime for dating me. I’m 15, and he’s 16. We talk about doing it all the time and he isnt pressuring me but i feel weird. Like, I’m ready, but I’m not. I just want to please him. He has what he’s going to do to me all planned out, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to dissapoint him! I love him so much,
Help me!
Hi Missthang!
I completely understand how much the both of you want to have sex. I’ve had that feeling with my girlfriend for the last 9 years. We’ve both been able to control that urge though because we both want to wait until we’re married. So just because you really want to have sex doesn’t mean that you have to. It is perfectly fine to wait. You can only have sex for the first time once. You might as well wait until you’re 100% sure that you want to do it.
The fact that the two of you aren’t dating seems to me like a huge problem if you’re thinking about having sex. Why on earth would his friends make fun of him for dating you? But more importantly, why does he care?? If anyone made fun of me for dating my girlfriend they’d probably end up getting a punch in the face, lol. Or I would at least tell them to get lost. I love my girlfriend so would do anything to stick up for her. Sorry to sound crude and harsh here, but if I was you I’d tell this guy to grow some balls and tell his friends to get stuffed if they have a problem with him dating you. He surely can’t truly love and care about you if he’s worried about that. If he did then he wouldn’t let anything stop him dating you. Tell him to stop being a wuss and to stick up for you. If he can’t do such a simple thing such as sticking up for you, then how on earth can he be a good boyfriend? And how on earth can he take care of you when having sex if he can’t stick up for you too? Also, if he’s the sort of guy who doesn’t want to date you because he’s scared his friends will make fun of him, how do you know he’s not the sort of guy who will tell all his friends when he’s had sex with you?
You said you just want to please him. You should never ever have sex just because he wants to. Don’t let how much he wants to have sex influence your decision. Whether or not you have sex with him is your decision, not his. Only have it if you want to. Otherwise you’ll regret it.
Also, if you feel like you’re ready for sex, but part of you doesn’t as well, then go with that gut feeling. If you’re not 100% sure, then don’t have sex. Wait until you know for sure, with no doubt at all. You know you’ll have no regrets then.
Just remember, no matter how much you want to have sex, you don’t have to. You can hold off for as long as you want. You need to tell this guy to stop being a wuss and stick up for you. Tell him that if he won’t date you then he can get lost because he doesn’t care about you enough. Then later on when you’re dating, when you’re 100% fully sure you’re ready, and know for sure that he truly loves you, you can think about having sex. Remember, this is your decision, no one else’s. And you can only have sex for the first time once. Choose that time carefully because you can never take it back.
Good luck with everything!
Dear Max Power,
Me and that guy! Yea, we are over. We never had sex and he left! I took your advice. I’m still a virgin and I have officially decided to wait until marriage!
Thanks for everything! (:
Good for you!! I’m so glad I was able to help. Just goes to show, despite all he said, all he wanted was to have sex. What a jerk. The good thing is that you have now seen his true colours. If you’d had sex with him then you mightn’t have found out what he was really like until way down the track. Better to get rid of him now than later.
Good for you waiting until marriage for sex. I never want to force my personal views on anyone else, but I think waiting until marriage is the best idea. And if that’s truly what you want to do, then don’t let anyone change your mind. Always stand firm in your beliefs.
Dear Max Power,
I need some serious advice and help. I don’t know what to do. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost two years. My boyfriend wants to have sex; (he has had sex before), but for me, I’m still a virgin and I don’t know if I’m ready. I’m worried about what could happen and I don’t know if I can handle it emotionally. My boyfriend keeps asking me about having sex, and I would tell him no but recently, it’s been getting worse. He keeps asking me and sometimes I just say yes because I just want him to stop talking about it. But I keep getting stressed out. I toss and turn in bed every night just thinking about it and everything else I have to worry about. We get into huge fights about it. I know I maybe shouldn’t have said yes in the first place (i was saying flat out no in the beginning), but I was also thinking in the back of my mind that maybe I could do it. But everytime we almost try and have sex, I get scared and make him stop. I love him so much, he’s my best friend and part of me wants to have sex too, but I’m just scared. He tells me that when I say I’ll have sex (which I say yes also because I want to avoid him getting angry) and then don’t, that it hurts him and pushes him away and he feels like I don’t love him. I mean, I can understand it that way from his point of view; that he just wants to have sex because to him it’s an example of love, and when I don’t, he feels far from me. He thinks that it is just an easy thing to do and has even started pressuring me on a time limit on which to do it by because he says after all his “waiting” (since we’ve been dating) that he can’t wait any more and that he now needs sex and when I deny, he says that I don’t understand him. He even gets upset at me and calls me names and curses at me when he’s mad at me for denying. He tells me that if we just had sex, he would never be angry at me and that he would be totally fine and happy and that’s all he wants from me and we’ll be happy together always. Also, I’ve told him that there are some guys who wait to have sex, and he doesn’t believe me and thinks that those guys are lying. I don’t want to make it seem like my boyfriend is a bad person, because he is a really wonderful guy, I just don’t want to loose him. He’s the only boy I’ve ever loved and who accepted me and loved me when all other guys would make fun of me. I just feel really lost and sad and stressed out. He told me that if I don’t keep my “promise” of having sex with him, that he’ll do something emotionally hurtful to me because that’s what I’m doing to him in his eyes. Oh, and he said at first that he would go and find another girl to have sex with, but he said that only to make me change my mind and he tells me that he doesn’t want to have sex with any other girl but me.
I just want to be happy and not stressed out and be able to sleep at night. I honestly am lost and don’t know what to do. I want him to be happy and I want us to be happy. I’ll appreciate any advice you can give me. Thank you so much.
My goodness sweetmeshelle! I feel so sorry for you!
First of all, do not have sex with him. Don’t even think about it.
I know you think your boyfriend is a good person and a great guy, and that you love him, but all I can see is that he is an arsehole who doesn’t care about how his girlfriend feels. I cannot see how he can love you and treat you like that. Love, and the way he treats you are two contradicting things.
For starters, if you’re not ready for sex, then don’t have it. It’s not your boyfriend’s decision, it’s yours. If you have it and don’t feel ready then I can guarantee you’ll regret it.
Your boyfriend is trying to make out like you’re the hurtful one and that he’s the victim. It’s actually the other way around. What your boyfriend is doing is bullying you. He’s trying to emotionally blackmail you and guilt trip you into doing something you don’t want to do. You’re the one who’s right here, not him. The way he’s treating you is unacceptable and you shouldn’t stand for it.
I can’t understand your boyfriend (and other people’s) view that sex is an expression of love. Sure, you should only have sex with someone you love, and you should have sex in a loving way, but it’s certainly not an expression of love. It’s sex, that’s all. I have never had sex with my girlfriend despite being with her for 9 years. Would he think we don’t love each other? Going on how he treats you I can guarantee that I love my girlfriend a million times more that he loves you. How about couples who don’t have sex? People who are paralysed for example. Can they not show their love? Sex is not love and your boyfriend needs to realise that.
As for the fact that he says he gets hurt when you say you won’t have sex with him, he needs to get over himself, lose his ego, and stop being a wuss. I find it hilarious when guys talk about having hurt feelings over things like this. We’re guys. Unlike girls, it takes a lot to hurt us emotionally. You aren’t hurting your boyfriend’s feelings by not having sex with him, you’re hurting his ego. If he has an ego to hurt, then it needs to be hurt. Guy’s egos get in the way of everything, and the sooner he gets rid of it the better. I’ve lost my ego over time and I’m better because of it. If my girlfriend doesn’t want to kiss me, for example, I brush it off and don’t care. Instead of being offended I try to be understanding. She could perhaps be too tired or sad about something. Either way I would respect the fact that she doesn’t want to kiss me at that moment and realise it’s not an indication of her love for me.
As for him saying he “needs” sex; that it a load of rubbish. No guy needs sex. Us guys might really really want it, but we never need it. I want to have sex with my girlfriend as much as your boyfriend wants to have sex with you. My girlfriend and I want to wait until we’re married though so we both use self control to not have it. Even if I didn’t have that belief, I would respect my girlfriend’s wishes not to have sex. I love her, so the thing I want more than anything, even sex, is for her to be happy. And if not having sex would make her happy, then so be it. I certainly wouldn’t harass her about it! And besides, if your boyfriend feels like he needs sex, then he can deal with that by himself, if you know what I mean.
What I cannot understand is how you can love someone but treat them the way he treats you. In my opinion, based on what you’ve told me, he does not love you. Not in the way he should anyway. When you love someone, the thing you want more than anything is for them to be happy. That includes not having sex no matter how much you want to. I’ll use me and my girlfriend as an example. I would literally do anything in the world for her. I’ll go and watch some lame girly movie with her and do my best to enjoy it because I know she’ll enjoy the movie. (The fact that I’m cuddled up with her is all I need anyway). If she needs me, I’ll drop everything and go round to her house, even if it’s at 3am just to catch a scary spider. I’ll sleep outside in the cold dirt if it means she can sleep in a nice warm bed. And I’ll not do anything she doesn’t want to do, regardless of how much I want to. I will do all of those things without hesitation, and be more than happy to do so because I love her. And the thing is she would do the exact same things for me because she loves me back.
I could never curse or swear at her because I know that’ll upset her, and I try not to do anything that’ll make her feel bad. All I want is for her to be happy because I love her. Sorry to go on a big spiel about me and my girlfriend, but it’s the only way I can think of to describe what true unconditional love is.
Thinking just now, the way your boyfriend curses at you and calls you names sounds like a little kid throwing a tantrum because he can’t get his way. It’s very pathetic. I cannot understand how you could do that to someone you love. Your boyfriend shouldn’t need sex not to get angry at you. He shouldn’t be angry at you now. And you need to ask yourself, what else is he going to get angry at you about if you give in to him?
You said he said you’d both be happy together always if you had sex. I doubt that you would be with his attitude towards you. You should both be able to be happy together forever without sex. I know that I would love my girlfriend exactly the same if she never wanted to have sex with me ever, and I would have no problems what so ever with that as long as she was happy. And remember, that I want sex just as much as your boyfriend. The difference is that I love my girlfriend more than sex. And I care about her happiness more than sex. If your boyfriend wants sex so much that he doesn’t care whether you want it or not, what does that say about his love for you? Does he care about your happiness? Does he want sex more than he loves you?
You said that if you don’t keep your “promise” of having sex with him that he said he’ll do something emotionally hurtful to you because that’s what you’re doing to him in his eyes. Well, first of all not having sex with him isn’t emotionally hurtful, and he should stop being such a wuss. Second of all, he should love you despite anything you do to hurt him. If my girlfriend did something to hurt me every single day, it might really really suck but I would still love her exactly the same, and wouldn’t even think about hurting her back. As I have kept saying, I want her to be happy, no matter what.
Your boyfriend doesn’t know what love is. He may think he does, but if he did then he wouldn’t be treating you like this.
My first reaction is to tell you to leave him, because he makes me so angry. But I understand that you love him. And that you love him despite all the times he’s hurt you. And despite the way he treats you. That is love. Bullying you into having sex, that is not love.
So what should you do? Explain to him that you’re not ready for sex and explain why. Tell him that it’s nothing to do with your love for him, and tell him how much you do love him (a little ego rub there will hopefully keep him listening). Make it clear that you’re not ready for sex and that you’re not going to have it until you’re ready. Then explain to him how hurtful he has been to you. Explain how it’s made you feel. And explain to him why you said that you would have sex with him those times. Also make it clear that you’re not going to have sex with him while he’s bullying you and guilt tripping you. If he tries to say that you hurt him every time you refuse to have sex with him, you can throw back at him that he hurts you every time he pressures you for sex. And all the times he curses at you and calls you names too. Also tell him that if he truly loved you he would be happy to wait forever for sex with you.
The main thing is not to give in to him. It is your body, not his. And this is your decision, not his. If he does truly love you, then he will stay with you, and not have sex with anyone else. If he does have sex with someone else then the best thing to do, no matter how much you love him, is to leave him, because it’ll prove that he doesn’t love you.
If your boyfriend doesn’t believe there are guys who want to wait to have sex then show him this post of mine. Or show him the one I made here:
http://www.askstudent.com/tips/having-sex-for-the-first-time-heres-what-to-expect/comment-page-6/#comment-76524
Feel free to send him in here as well if you want. I would love to have a chat with him.
Your boyfriend is a poor excuse for a man. If he was a real man then he would be able to control his urge for sex, and not harass you about it. He would spend his time trying to make you happy rather than trying to fulfil his own selfish desires. He is only thinking of himself, and doesn’t seem to care how you feel. You said you want him to be happy, but does he want you to be happy? Does he even care? He needs to grow a pair and be a man.
I’ll finish my post here with some Bible passages which I think are very relevant. If you’re not religious then don’t let the fact that they’re from the Bible put you off. They’re still very wise and relevant passages, regardless of any religious connotations. Just think about the message they’re trying to send about love.
“Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
“Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his love.”
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
Good luck with this!
hey girl, first think about how old are u ? second think about how many years u have together, and third he had been with you for 2 years without having sex , thats why he keep on asking you , its not easy for a boy to keep 2 years without having sex, he doesnt wanna cheat on you , thats why he keep on asking you .! if you are 17 and over, its fine do it,
Sorry aYochikka but you’re 100% wrong.
As a guy I can say that it is very easy to not have sex after being with your girlfriend for 2 years. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 9 years and we’ve never had sex. We want to but we want to wait until marriage. Even if I wanted sex, I wouldn’t harass my girlfriend about it, or cheat on her because I love her. I love her far more than sex.
It has been easy not having sex. All you need is a little self control. So for you to say that it’s not easy for guys to go for 2 years without sex, well I can say that you are wrong.
When a guy truly loves a girl, it doesn’t matter how much he wants to have sex, his girlfriend will always come first. If sweetmeshelle’s boyfriend truly loves her, then he would respect her decision not to have sex, and he shouldn’t pester her about it. If he truly loves her then her happiness would come before his desire for sex.
It’s easy for you to say “if you are 17 and over, its fine do it”. It doesn’t matter how old she is, she clearly doesn’t feel ready, so her boyfriend shouldn’t be trying to push her into it. Her boyfriend is being selfish and isn’t thinking about how she feels. He’s only thinking about his own selfish desire for sex.
I feel sorry for all the girls out there who think they need to have sex to keep their boyfriends. Any girl with a boyfriend who will leave if he doesn’t get sex should let him leave, because he doesn’t truly love her. He doesn’t care about her, just his own selfish desires.
Hi,
I just had sex with my girlfriend and she told me that she was a virgin girl and that i was the first one to have sex with her.
She also told me that she never masturbate and she has never put her finger in her vagina.
What i fail to understand is that she did not bleed at all when having sex with her.I can say that it was tight in the beginning then afterward i thought that she will bleed but she didn’t.
My question is “Is it possible for a virgin girl don’t bleed the first time she had sex”???
As far as i know, a virgin girl should bleed on the first time someone penetrate her.
She told me that she was in pain and when i ask her why she did not bleed she told me that sometimes some girls don’t bleed but they got lots of pain.
Is it true that bleeding is not necessary when a girl loses her virginity or it can happens that she get lots of pain instead of bleeding???
I was surprise when she didn’t bleed and i don’t know if my girlfriend lied to me but can you please reply my question about losing virginity(female) please help me out because i’m in the dark about this bleeding issue.Thanks in advance,reply me on my mail please.
Yes, it is possible for that to happen to a girl because it happened to me.
There isn’t a set rule saying that all virgin girls have to bleed the first time they have sex. Everyone’s different.
Trust your girlfriend. If she said she was a virgin, then trust that she was a virgin.
so im a 14 year guy and i have no idea if i should be on top or her someone help?
i had my first time about a month ago. it hurt a little not much and i hardley even bleed. a few weeks after that i had my second time, with the same guy. it hurt more and i bleed more! why? and the third time ill it hurt even more and bleed even more or is that it now??
hi
i would like to ask if my girlfriend is still a virgin then we have sex with using condom but if i just insert my penis into her vagina for 4 time will she get pregnant? i dint ejaculate inside there but soon after i pull it out i masturbate for male satisfaction. i ejaculate in the after my masturbation. will she get pregnant? i’m worried about it. Pls give me advise.
i mean i dint having ejaculate inside her but when i pull my penis then i masturbate myself for satisfaction. i just hope she wont get pregnant. cos we are under age.. we wan to try wad is the feeling of doing sex… i hope u guys can gie me advise about it… pls and thank you.
Yes, it is still possible for her to get pregnant.
why will? i dint ejaculate in but i just insert her vagina for 4 times. i’m using condom during tat time. after i pull out my penis i’m using my hand to masturbate without taking out the condom from my penis.
but if she is virgin she still will get pregnant if we use condom when we are doing sexual intercourse?
Sorry, I couldn’t understand what you were saying the first time.
Her being a virgin has nothing to do with whether she can get pregnant or not.
Even if you use a condom she can get pregnant. They’re less than 98% effective if you use them perfectly. If you have sex 50 times she could get pregnant once. There’s a chance she could get pregnant having sex for the first time. That’s a huge gamble. If you don’t want to worry about that there is one guaranteed way of not getting her pregnant; don’t have sex. Have it when you’re ready to deal with the consequence of getting her pregnant. If you’re not ready for that, then don’t have sex. It’s as simple as that.
please reply me as soon as possible. thank you. i m s worry about it.
i was really nurvous for my first time that he was peniture in cummin so i didnt really enjoy it so muc and no i worried that it goin to happen again
hi i am 21 years old and still have my v-card. i have always been to self conscious about my body. there is this guy who wants to have sex with me but i know he is really experienced and i am afraid i wont do somethin right. i dont know where to begin and i just dont want it to be bad for him. i am at a complete loss. i know he wants me to give him a bj and i really dont know how to do that… i just need help… so any advice?
Hi ryaegurl88
Do not be stressed about how it will be. Let him know it is your first time and if he is a nice guy and likes you, he will understand. As for BJ, I think if you tell him you have no experience he might help you by telling exactly what he wants you to do or you can watch some videos or read somewhere about it. Believe me, no matter what every girl is nervous about her first time. I am 23 and I havent done it. Everytime I think how my first time will be, my stomach starts hurting lol.. So be calm and have a conversation with the guy before you guys do it.
All the best..
thank you very much! its nice to know that im not the only girl who waited this long to consider it… i guess i just want to get it over with but then im afraid that i will regret it he knows im a virgin and he knows im afraid but i still have that insecurity i cant get rid of. i dont think its the sex itself that is scaring me. its more the guy and wut he thinks. is he enjoying it? is he just goin along with it? does he just wanna laugh at me? am i the only one who thinks this way? i feel so embarrassed
If you waited to to have sex with someone who you love and who loves you back then you wouldn’t have to worry about those things.
No, you’re not the only one that feels like that. I think deep down everyone has insecurities like that, or at least similar. Just relax, and try to forget them and trust him
Well im just sayen im a 15yr old male. im doing with my girlfriend who i love and have been with for 3 and a half months. i got condoms and we have talked about it alot and looked up every single aspect f it and we have decided to do it. i have had plenty tips and i feel fully ready and so does she
Good Luck to all the people who have a problem 
i have answered a few Qs already.
Good Luck
Ok well Im daing one of my good friends. been dating for a while. Im 15 almost 16 and he is 16 almost 17. we really really REALLY wanna have sex. we planned out when and its this Monday. Im a virgin and he isnt. He knows I am. Any tips. We are doing it at his house. He lives next to our school and he is going to drive me home after. He isnt pressuring me at all. I want him to enjoy it. I was raped at 5 til I was 8, Im kinda scared about it but I trust him. He knows what happened. I just dont wanna freak out in the middle of a good moment. Any tips?
nice article guys!
I reckon’ firsts are all about practice but even if you do it wrong wth ur couple you’ll probably have more fun than being sad bout it, so just go with it every couple has it’s rhythm… but for sure you’ll enjoy it no matter what.
mmm…. this is interesting… thanks
Im am a 20 year old female student who has been in a relationship now for 5months+ and know her boyfriend is the one and is ready to loose her virginity with him.
He is experience in this field and is rather large down below.
What position should I be in to feel comforable and relaxed?
Does everyone bleed loosing it for the first time?
How much pain will I be experiencing
1) throughout
2) afterwards
well do what ever you think is best for you, everything goes by the flow anyway, you do experience pain durin sex, it dosent tend to hurt afterwards. You may bleed a little bit, a lot, or rarely nothing. Just remember, everyone is differrent, so if your gonna take advice of people just remeber that it may not be the same for you? i bled alot we i lost my virginity and it did hurt but aslong as your comfortable and relaxed about what your doing everything should be fine. Good luck
When you bleed, do you bleed during or after?
okay. im fifteen and so is my bf.
Were thinking about having sex and im nervous as hell.
About bleeding
and making it pleasurable for us both.
(both virgins)
any tips?
okay.
I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is the same.
weve been together for over a year and both still have our virginity.
weve been talking about having sex For a while and weve decided on it. im really nervous. i jus want it to be special for the both of us.
Any specific tips??
will i bleed alot??
Lights on or off?
Okay, so i’m 15, turning 16 and I’m a virgin. I never had sex with my previous boyfriend even thought they told me they really really need it. But now, I’m dating this amazing guy and i really love him, and I think i’m ready. The problem is, since it’s my first time I’m really worried. I understand that there will be pain and I’m completely fine with that. But I don’t know what to do when I’m ‘doing it’, like where to place my hands or knees, Im so confused! And i’m really worry about not pleasing him while having sex, he’s 19 and he had sex before and he’s really patient so far, and I’m really worried that I won’t able to please him. Would someone give me some advice?
heyy chloe
, i have the same problame as you kind of lol , my boyfriend is 19 and he is so sexy and good looking lol , i was 15 in october lol , and well my boyfriend has been so pacent he sais if i dont want to do it he will wait because he really likes me and dont wanna lose me , and he is sooo good like that 
and he has had sex loads of times befor , and well i just got that click with him and thort hes the one i wanna lose it to, but its my first time and i’m scared of the pain, and blood , most of my mates have lost it and they did say once they lost it the couldnt stop doing it , but they did say it hurt . but im wroryed im not going to be brave enoth , haha i sound like a right idiot but i reallt wanna lose it to him , and im also scared that if he dont get it off me hes gonna want it from somone else so he might cheet on me , but i dont think he is like tha lol , but i jus donno what to do , need some advise who has gone thur what im going thur now and had it 
, or just somone who wants to help me lol 
xx
hi chloe in the summer i was 18 and my girfriend is 15 when and we were together on holiday and she want to have sex but i was careful coz i was 18 and still virgin and she 15 and virgin and after the sex i asked did it urt she said no coz if you do it easly and slow dont rush like other peeps do just take your time for it and find your position what you like and your boyfriend to dont rush when you have sex.
i m no 19 and my girfriend still 15 2 december turns to 16 and we still ove eachoter we are now like 10 moths to gether..
just don rush when you have sex just ask to your boyfriend what he likes and tell what you like than you have amezing sex i did it to just asking dont worrie it wil help a lot.
i hope its helping you out.
greetz from joas
sorry for my bad english i m from holland
I’m 16 and finally took my bra off for this guy i was hooking up with and i wanted to get stuff straight when, or if i have sex in high school. Most of my friends have said it’s excruciating pain and you bleed everywhere and others say it’s nothing and they didn’t bleed at all. If anyone has had sex and would tell me what happened that would be great.
I was a virgin. He fingered me to break my hymen before we ever had sex. when my hymen broke it bled a lot and it didnt hurt. When we had sex later (about two months later) it didnt hurt at all, it actually felt amazing and i didnt bleed at all. I HIGHLY suggest fingering yourself or having him finger you to stretch the hymen out a while before you have sex so it doesnt hurt or bleed when you have sex.
PS: the hymen doesnt alwasy break, often it just stretches until a penis can fit in. good luck:)
Hey im gonna have sex for the first time tomorrow im only 13, I know that sound really bad cause im young but oh well? Im just really nervous about the whole thing and for some reason my boyfriend whos 15 seems pretty calm about it even though hes also a virgin. Idk if im just overworked about this or what but will someone please help me out?
my advise to you both is to GROW UP FIRST!!
I’m 12 going on 13. My boyfriend is 2 years older than me.
He is 14.we talk about sex but we both are too young.
Don’t get me wrong but we all think about it.my boyfriend is
very attractive so of course I would.he doesn’t push me or I
don’t push him.I tell him about what I think about us doing it.
Just recently we was talking and he kissed me like never
before.it lasted for a good long time.so my advice is to just take
it slow.don’t rush because you will be thinkin’ oh I’m not gonna
get pregnant but when you have sex you have to accept the
consequences.I hope everyone takes my advice seriously.
Very good advice Shiane! I completely agree. I’m 24 and my girlfriend and I have been together for 9 years. We have never had sex because we want to wait until marriage. There is no rush. And you can have plenty of fun together without having sex; without being naked in fact.
My boyfriend has had sex with about 10 or 12 other girls before me and him met. I lost my virginity to him when I was 17 and he was 18, now we have all kinds of sex all the time and we are very comfortable and in love with eachother. we have been together over a year and neither has cheated on the other.
here’s the problem: I feel so inexperiened compared to him because he’s been my only sex partner and he has had a LOT of experience before me. Im going to college soon and I want to be single or at least more “free” when I leave, but he wants to get married and I dont want to break up with him and break his heart. Any time I suggest changing our relationship he freaks out because he is obsessed with me. I adore him too, but I dont want to think about marriage yet, we’re both too young.
So I need help. How to I convey to him that I want to be with him, but I feel that I need to experience other guys before I commit long-term? I think we need an open relationship. Im fine with him being with other girls but whenever I suggest it, he always tells me he doesnt want to and I’m the only girl he wants. I want to be with him for a while, but I also feel lost because I dont know what it is like with any other guys because hes the only serious boyfriend I have ever had and I have never had any sexual encounters with anyone else. I really need to try out other guys because otherwise I will never know what truely want in a relationship. I have had so many opportunites to be with other people and I am sooo curious! I want to make it an open relationship, but I need help. It is so hard to make him see that we both feel differently. He wants to be together forever, but I can’t commit to that before I’ve seen what its like with other guys….please help me, this is making me so depressed and its been eating my heart out for months:(
If you love him then you won’t want to be with anyone else. If you love him then you wouldn’t be having this problem. You shouldn’t need to know what it’s like with other guys. If you love someone then that become irrelevant.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 years. We’re 24 now. We’ve never been with anyone else. Both of us don’t know what it’s like to be with anyone else but neither of us cares. We don’t want to try being with anyone else because we love each other so much. We don’t need to know, or want to know, what it’s like with other people.
If you feel like you want to try being with other guys, then you clearly feel differently about your boyfriend than he does about you. Open relationships are a joke. You have to either be with him and no one else, or not with him. There’s no in between.
I hope you’re not wanting to be with other guys just because that’s what you think you should do, or because that’s what everyone else is doing. I think a lot of people do that for that very reason. What other people do and think is irrelevant. All that matters is how you feel about your boyfriend. If you truly love him, then ditch these ideas about being with someone else. I feel sorry for him. How horrible to have someone you love thinking about being with a whole lot of other guys.
You need to make a choice. There’s no in between.
Ok so yesterday I had sex with a guy. It was a mstake because I don’t
know him and I now feel like a whore. The whole time we were doing it I
just kind of payed there in his truck it was terrible but now I want to do it
agin I am so arosed is that normal and having sex with s randome guy does
that make me a whore. I think why I did it was becasue several years ago
my moms bf at the time no husband tried to rape me I was also molested
several tomes when I was younger could it have been a phycological thing
I would realy appreciate some advice.
Ps I am 18 was 16 when moms bf tried that and I’m in collage
I don’t think you’re a whore. I think you made a mistake, but none of us are perfect. The important thing is that you learn from that mistake and don’t make it again.
That is terrible about being molested and almost being raped. I feel so sorry for you that you had to go through that. I have no idea whether that effected your decision to have sex though.
I understand that you want sex again, but the important thing is to learn from your mistake. You admit it was terrible. Don’t let your horniness blind you to what it was like last time. Having sex with someone you don’t know is empty, meaningless self gratification. Having sex with someone you love is so much more. If you continue to have sex with people you don’t know you’ll regret it, whether that’s the next day or years down the track. Although it might be hard, you need to resist the temptation of repeating your mistake. Wait at least until you find a guy who you love and who loves you back. You won’t regret waiting, trust me.
Waas Superb max. You said that. Many teens go wrong and they doesn’t know what to do after that.
At 24, I started to consider this topic. I am definitely not in any hurry. The best part is, I feel mature enough to have no doubts at all, and I knew and learned a lot about it to prepare myself, all my questions were answered a long time ago, until 24 I finally feel like doing it. My partner will be my husband, it feels very right to do it to bring us closer, which is sweet. Talking about it and telling each others their history is helpful, which I feel is a must, worrying is the least thing you want to have on your mind when the time comes. My advise, I personally discourage trying this for teenagers, you don’t have to agree with me, I am saying this because I think teenagers are not mature enough to really do it for the right reasons, and are more likely to make mistakes, even they think they know at the time. For example, curiosity is a wrong reason to try it, and lack of protection would not be smart. Even when you two are madly in love, but as teenagers, love itself is still a word to be learned, a lot of things in your life need to be figured out. I am in no position to say anything as absolute, people become mature at different ages, I only advice, just hope those young teens can think more, take control, ask yourself are you ready to make decisions really at this stage, and it is always good to put a lot of respect to yourself. Good luck to all the first timers.
Good for you Lily! I agree 100%. I’m also 24 and my girlfriend and I want to wait until we’re married to have sex. You can never regret waiting, but you can regret not waiting.
I feel like a lot of teenagers are having sex because that’s what they feel like they should do, or because everyone else is doing it. To those people I say: think for yourself. Don’t just go along with the crowd. Decide for yourself what you want to do. And don’t get blinded by your hormones. We all want to have sex. The difference between all of us lies in whether or not you have the self control to fight off the temptation. Don’t be naive. Grow up first, then have sex.
Hi.
Im 16 and so is my girlfriend. We are really happy together and both want sex. Although when we tried i couldn’t get it up. We tried fourplay but nothing. Is this common? and what can i do? : /
Okay so im 17, and I had sex for the first time yesterday…and it hurted!
It was painful…I kept telling my boyfriend (20 years of age) to go slow…but it stil felt like he was going fast.. It burned badly…because he’s penis was not small AT ALL! He sed he had only had the tip or “Head” of the penis in..and that I needed to let him slowly at more but it hurted so bad..I couldn’t.I was so confused about the whole situation…where to put my hands…how should i keep my legs lol..I felt like a rag doll lol So afterwards we tried a ROUND 2 and it felt better..easier. to slip in and out…..He checked on me several times to make sure that I was okay and wasn’t hurting…But I lied each and every time he asked..Hes penis was WAY to big…but although his penis was big…i didn’t bleed…I didn’t bleed at all…and wen i got home that night I checked myself to see if it (hymen) had been broken…and it wasn’t it was just pushed back…does that make me still a virgin or ami offically not a virgin..im confused..!
If you had sex, which you did, then you’re not a virgin anymore.
Yeah… umm please learn how to speak english… hurted is NOT a word.
but anyway, the second it goes in, even if it is barely in, you are no longer a virgin. tell him his dick is too damn big for you at the moment (trust me, he wont mind… he will get a HUGE ego boost) and that you want to be on top, that way it goes at YOUR pace. plus the lube that is on a condom will make it that much easier.
all tips based on what my GF said made it easier to her. good luck ^_^
Dear Max Power,
I am really confused. Me n this guy really want to have sex. Were both 15. We talk about it all the time. But im not sure he likes me the same way i like him. No matter how sweet he is when we r alone he is never the same in public. He wont ask me out, he wont tell his friends about us. All my friends tell me to just drop him and leave all of that drama behind. But i really do like him and no matter wat has happened i forgive him everytime. Im not sure if he truly loves me n is afraid to show it, or he just wants some. Please help!
Btw we r both virgins