Having sex for the first time? Here’s what to expect.
The first time, a.k.a. losing it, being deflowered, breaking the seal, losing your innocence, popping the cherry — there are lots of names for it. But when you’ve decided to have sex for the first time, the names don’t matter. What matters is being ready and having some idea of what it’s all about.
Pre-Play
When the big day (or more likely, night) arrives, no matter how you set it up — with candles, champagne, and sexy lingerie, or as just another night — it’s bound to be more exciting, and at least a little more nerve wracking, than your standard hook-up.
So do yourself a few favors. First, have protection ready. There’s enough to worry about without having to add concern about contracting an infection or dealing with a pregnancy. If you don’t have a supply of condoms, go get some. Frank Littlefield*, a senior at Boston University, remembers making a fast trip to the store on his first night. He was at a friend’s house for a holiday party. When he discovered both he and his (also virginal) partner were latex-less, he “ran to the drug store. I grabbed one of those 75-cent single packs, and sprinted back. She was waiting for me.”
Next, get in the mood. This is supposed to be fun, so relax and enjoy it. Turn on some sexy music, and then it’s time for — hey guys, are you paying attention? — foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. The more excited and worked up you both are, the easier and smoother the whole thing will be.
Getting In
Take it from the veterans: Penetration is rarely as easy as it looks in the movies. So you can probably expect a little, er, poking around before the ship docks in the port. And don’t be surprised if a little manhandling is required. Sharon LaRusso, a senior at UCLA who lost her virginity at age 17, recalls the pre-entry moment as silly, but fun. “There were a few mis-pokes around my thighs. Then he guided it in with his hands,” she remembers.
Prior to experiencing sex, most virgins have heard from a variety of sources that the first time hurts for a woman. According to most women — and some men — this was their biggest concern about the whole experience. The truth? First-time sex may be a tad wince-worthy, but you’re not passing a kidney stone. “It hurt a little, but nowhere near as much as I’d expected,” says Lindsay Kelly, a senior at the University of Delaware who lost it at age 19. Gretchen Lazlo, a sophomore at Colby College and a virgin till age 16, says, “It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I wouldn’t call it painful.”
According to these same women, the best way to make it as painless as possible can be summed up in two words: Go slow. John Tatum of Emory University remembers asking his partner, who was also a virgin, several times how she was doing and if it hurt. “I knew that if she didn’t like it the first time, she probably wouldn’t want to sleep with me again!” he says. “So I was gentle, and kept checking in with her to make sure everything was OK. Later, she told me she was so glad I did that.”
The Act
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: First time out, the big O is mainly the domain of the guys. No, it’s not fair, but that’s just the way it is. If you’re a female and you’re with someone who is very experienced, there’s a chance you might be sent into waves of orgasmic ecstasy, but don’t count on it. “I don’t know of anyone who [had an orgasm] the first time,” says Lindsay. Sharon agrees: “It was at least a year before I came while having sex.”
For guys, by most accounts, the first time is a quickie. Most guys I talked to estimated their first time lasted about 1-3 minutes. At best. “Put it this way: I could have beat Maurice Green,” says Dave Wayland of Princeton University. So coming quickly is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you’re with a more experienced girl, then “they know what to expect from you” says Frank. If you’re with another virgin, you really don’t have to worry. Hannah Kischler, a junior at Smith College, says her first time was “mercifully quick,” since the first time for her “was fun, but it wasn’t generally enjoyable from a physical point of view.”
Experimenting with different positions may not be the best thing your first time around — unless, of course you’re with someone who has more experience than you and who is comfortable taking you through the steps. Most men and women, however, find that the missionary position works just fine for that first test run.
Many novices worry about rhythm. Don’t. Rhythm is something that comes with practice, and from getting to know how your partner moves. “I definitely didn’t know what I was doing,” recalls Barry Glover, a senior at Drew University. “I didn’t really get the motions going. I never practiced on an apple pie or anything.” His recommendation? Slap on some tunes. Sexy tunes, that is. “It’s about slow, constant, steady rhythmical pressure. If you lack rhythm, like I did, try putting on music. It’s like dancing. Just move to the beat.”
Lindsay remembers the one thing that kept going through her mind. ‘I didn’t know what to do with my knees!” she laughs. It may seem trivial, but she, like many other men and women, remembers worrying about simple little things like their limbs. The best advice on this front — and overall — came from Jean Kirkpatrick, a recent graduate of Kenyon College. “There’s nothing you can do wrong. Okay, so you want to make sure you don’t hurt your partner. But outside of that, there’s absolutely nothing really right or really wrong you can do.”
Getting Out
Hey, you’ve done the deed. Congratulations. But don’t screw up now. Guys, when you pull out, grab the condom, hold on, and pull out slowly. Spillage is bad. You put that thing on for a reason, make sure you use it correctly. Don’t wait a long time to pull out, either. Instantaneous removal isn’t essential, but shrinkage can cause spillage, so watch out.
Aftermath
There are a few things you should know about after-sex. One is cleanup. Condoms are pretty neat and tidy, but have some Kleenex (or at least an old T-shirt) handy just in case.
Another is the smell. You may have heard people talk about the smell of sex, but you probably don’t know what it is till you’ve done it. Barry loved it then, and loves it now. He first smelled it after having sex for the first time at age 16. “Mmmm. I didn’t shower for two days!” he reminisces. Now, while we don’t necessarily recommend this particular course of action, a little reveling in the scent isn’t a bad thing.
Finally, while guys won’t be left with many physical reminders after their first time, women might notice a little bleeding. No big deal — it should hardly be enough to qualify as spotting, and should go away quickly. “I noticed a little blood in the shower afterward, but it was gone by the next morning,” says Gretchen. Women might also be a little sore or tender the day after, but that feeling should also go away soon.
So good luck, and remember: No one really knows what to do the first time around. But folks have been successfully bonking for millions of years. They all figured it out. And you will too. So relax, take it slow, and don’t worry about any sexual snafus. Just do what seems natural and comfortable. “There won’t be any swinging from the chandeliers at first,” says Sharon. “That’ll happen in time. You have to figure out what works with the person you’re with. And that’s true when you’re with any new person for the first time — it doesn’t matter if it’s your first lover, or your tenth.”
So, the rundown… the spark notes version to having sex for the first time and tips to make it even better
Talk it up. Not with your friends — although they might be able to give you some good advice. Talk to you partner before the big night. Talk about your experience, your concerns, your expectations. If you can talk about it before sex, it’ll be easier to talk about it during and after, too. And make sure to ask about your partner’s sexual history. Consider getting tested together to make sure you’re both clean.
Rubbers, gloves, latex, protection Call ‘em what you will. Have condoms on hand. (Oh — in case you weren’t paying attention — use condoms.)
Size might matter. We’ve all heard theories on whether or not penis size matters. We don’t have any answers to the age-old question here, but we can tell you that penis size can make a difference if it’s your first time. If a guy is particularly large, entry and sex can be a bit more tedious for everyone involved. Just make sure you take it slow.
Live and learn. Having some “all but” (as in “all but sex”) experience helps. If you’ve previously been initiated into the joys of making out, feeling up, and giving and receiving oral sex, then sex itself is a whole lot less intimidating. You’re already comfortable with squirts, spurts, and other bodily functions.
Lube job. If you’re having trouble getting in, or if you’re experiencing pain after penetration, you may want to have some KY jelly or other non-oil-based lubricant on hand. If you don’t feel comfortable with lubricant, use a natural substitute — saliva can work wonders. Let there be light? Lights on or off, it’s entirely up to you. Sex is sex, light or no light. But it may help to know that many first timers recommend darkness. You’ll both probably be less self-conscious that way.
No crowded house. Make sure your door has a lock. Use it. The last thing you need is your roomie or anyone else detracting from your first bout in bed.
*All names have been changed to protect the no-longer innocent.
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Im 18 and I really found this forum interesting (as I am still a virgin).
Anyway, when I was 15, I had a boyfriend and when we were going for our second month together, he asked me to have sex with him. For some reason, I feel really forced and that’s the reason why I broke up with him. I didn’t have any regrets when we both got separated. However, I wasn’t able to share it with someone who can actually give me a proper advice that’s why I’ve been keeping this to myself for a long time now. I have been scared to be in a relationship after that because my mind tells me that they only want to be with me because they want to have sex with me.
And now, I have a boyfriend. He is absolutely wonderful, caring and loving. And we just turned 6 months. I believe that our relationship gets better and better. I have not been so in love with anyone before in my life and I imagine spending the rest of my life with him. One day he asked me if we should go another step further. Use other means of showing love aside from kissing. I was speechless because I don’t know what to say.
My view on sex is very closed since I had that relationship when I was 15. However, since I truly do love him so much, I decided that I am ready to have sex with my boyfriend now since we are both mature and at the right age. I just have concerns on things such as getting pregnant, what can sex cause our relationship, STD’s, what will happen to our bodies after, and all those kinds of things. This site actually helped ease my mind about some worries that I have. Can someone please help me ease my mind on the other worries that I have.. The major ones I should say.. I know it will be very repetitive for some people (if they choose to respond to me) but it is different when it is addressed to me.
Thanks so much guys!
we’ll answer…but unfortunately you didnt type us anything to answer…as for finding someone you love that much despite your troubled past, well done! it seems pretty obvious to me that you love him and i wish you a long relationship
hello
thank you for responding .. hmm .. sorry bout the “not asking part” ..
okays.. first question : should I tell him that I’m ready to make love with him or should I just let that time come?
second question : should I tell him to buy a condom or I shouldn’t worry about that?
third question : (this is kinda related to number one) should we talk about this first before actually doing it ?
I’m confused of what to do .. if i just let it happen, I’m not sure if we will be protected. But if I don’t, we will have the chance to talk about it which is good but I’m not sure if I will like the idea of planning when and where..
Thanks for your wishes on my relationship. I appreciate it .. I wish the same thing for yours
Sorry. I’m just really confused .. I know some of this doesn’t make sense. I hope you understand though.
That’s awesome that you’ve found someone you love so much, and who loves you in return. I’m very happy for you.
Don’t worry everything you said made perfect sense. And just so you know I’m definitely not here to judge, just to offer my opinions. You said that your boyfriend suggested using other means of showing your love aside from kissing. I’m sure your boyfriend has good intentions, but the two of you need to realise that sex isn’t an expression of love. It’s just sex. If it was then what would that say about people who have one night stands, or even about rapists? Sex clearly wasn’t an expression of love in those cases. Sex can be an amazing thing when done between two people who truly love each other, and it should be done in a loving and unselfish way, but it doesn’t show their love. What does show love is caring about their happiness and wellbeing above anything else. Because of that your own actions will show it. I’m saying all this because I don’t want you to think that you need to have sex to show your love to your boyfriend.
With pregnancy, I’ve posted a lot of comments in here about it so I won’t go into it again too much. I’ll just state that no form of protection is 100% effective. Condoms for example are only 98% effective at the most. That’s like not using one at all one out of 50 times you have sex. If you want no risk of getting pregnant, don’t have sex. It’s as simple as that. It’s your call.
If you’re worried about what sex will do to your relationship, then don’t have it. The fact that you’re worried is a sign to me that your relationship isn’t ready for it yet. If sex was going to cause no problems and nothing would change after having it, then you wouldn’t be worried about it. Listen to your feelings. Perhaps talking about that aspect of it with your boyfriend might help.
With condoms, you shouldn’t have to ask him to buy them if he knows you’re going to have sex at some stage. He should already have them. I hope he’s not clueless and realises this.
It’s up to you whether or not you tell your boyfriend you’re ready for sex. From things you’ve said it sounds like that would probably be a good idea, and to talk to him about it all. That doesn’t mean you have to plan it all out. I don’t like the idea of that either. To me it seems a bit artificial and forced. You can’t plan those moments; they just happen. Talk about it with him, and then you’ll know that when it does happen, when ever that is, that the two of you are on the same page. When it does randomly happen, if you don’t have any protection, don’t do it. Sex is risky enough with protection. Doing it without it is just stupid, but I’m sure you know that already.
Good luck with everything.
imma essentially agree with everything max just said
oh and max. thanks for shortening the canned responce…i mean seriosly…on the last page of comments max used the canned responce atleast five times…seriously, if we have to say it more than once a page you people arent reading the article or the comments to see if your question has already been answered…max and i are here to answer what hasnt been answered recently…plz ppl…just read for five minutes
(ive been watching “neurotically yours” for the past hour and a half if it explaines the rant)
Max Power and ryukage..
Thank you very much for the advice. I will make sure that we’re both ready for it before things happen. And I definitely agree that sex is NOT the only way to show love. The most important thing in establishing a stable relationship is to care deeply and make an intimate connection with someone which all leads up to love. Physical connection should just come after those other two things are met.
I’m in no hurry to have sex
I’m probably just having those days where my insecurities are getting to me and I’m thinking that if I don’t have sex with my boyfriend he’ll eventually leave me (which I know is not the case). However, I cannot tell what the future has in store for me. So I will definitely take Max’s advice that whenever that UNPLANNED moment happens, I will make sure that protection will be right there. If not, then I will not risk it.
Once again, thanks so much for the both of you! I will come back if I have more questions. And honestly, some people here who’s posting their numbers and are looking for someone to talk to them are being inconsiderate. This is a place to have discussions about first time sex not some dating site. Go to some dating sites if you’re lonely or go out there in the public and make your social life active.
Not a problem. I’m always more than happy to help.
You’re definitely on the right track with all of this so good luck with everything.
thanks for that last paragraph and good luck with ur boyfriend
feel free to come back, we like hearing how our advice played out
Hello I’m back
I just want to ask if it’s possible to get pregnant if two people are dry humping while wearing only underwears?
Thanks
Hey anastacia.
Yeah, technically it’s possible to get pregnant doing that. Sperm or “pre-come” can leak through. If a girl is wet and the sperm touches that, then it’s only a short journey up to an egg waiting to be fertilised.
If I was you I would wear some more clothes when doing that, just for protection. Either you or him quickly chuck some pants on. It’s a pain in the butt I know, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Hey Max..
Oh gosh. I’m nervous now.
We were both wearing only underwears. Was that a very big mistake ?? Oh I need advice.. I don’t want to get pregnant now 
Thanks for letting me know though.. Now I know what to do.. I have a question as well. Uhm, have you heard about many girls getting pregnant just because of dry humping wearing only underwear ? 
I wouldn’t worry about it. It wasn’t a big mistake, and you can’t change what you’ve already done anyway. I just wouldn’t do it again without more clothes on if I was you. You’re probably fine. There’s just that tiny chance of getting pregnant that I don’t like.
I haven’t personally heard of it happening to any girls, I just know it’s possible. You’re definitely at a lot less risk than if you were having sex, but I think it’s best to remove any risk what so ever.
How can I get a bf. and I want to have sex in what would he do first tell me I just want to sex. In bed with. Him can someone get me a bf. What would he do first to have sex with me tell me now email me back ok
my advice is dont get a boyfriend for the sex… find someone that you love and when u kno u will never leave him then have sex. it will make the expirience all the more enjoyable
Hi I’m in the same boat as you and have been for a while. I guess the first thing I would tell you is to wait. Its true love if he’s willing to wait with you. I’ve been dating a guy for a year and a half now and he never pressures me and is always concerned about how I am and never wants to hurt me or do anything that I’m not ready for. I’m finally starting to have the feeling of being ready. All I wanna tell you is that when your ready you’ll know and I would never force that upon yourself and make yourself think your ready. Also there are a lot of other things you can do other than sex that can keep you ad him happy. Feels around try stuff that your ready for and seem natural. My boyfriend has never asked me and he know that when I’m ready I will tell him. We’ve been together for a long time and through a hell of a lot but the love and everything else makes it worth it.
Good for you Theresa! You and your boyfriend sound like you love each other a lot! I’m so happy for you two that you’ve both found each other. It sounds like you have true unconditional love.
Look im 17 and im still Virgin and i really think that if u two guys love each other it could really be a sweet thing because my girlfreind is just like u and she said to me once that it would be sweet to have sex with me and I was breathless and I don’t know… Look I could have sex with her but I feel kind of scared when I think of loosing my verginity but I really feel that I love her and no matter what happens until then I will do what ever she wants because I feel that I could have a life with her so my suggestion is do what u want because if ur boyfriend really loves u he should understand that this is really important for u and that no matter what he can’t make u do what he wants and that is ur deccision but is a really seems nice doing it with the person u really love and trust so good luck and have a nice time together just in case the love flame turns on.
i wanted to say my story is very similar to you, but in my case im realy close-minded, and before the thought of sex would not even be close to be in my thoughts. time after i meet my actual boyfriend, so far he has introduced me to oral sex, which before i did not knew how this was (only by videos that i’ve seen on porn sites).
we also have 6 months together, and i remember that even before having 5 or 4 months together he asked me if i was ready to take our relationship more serious (of course i was shocked), meaning ready for sex. i at first did not knew what to say. i was speechless.
then that same day i put all my thought in order and i turned to him with a very serious face and told him straight that i was absolutely NOT ready for that, because in mexico the tradition is that u can have sex when you marry to someone. so i told him i did not wanted to have sex.
then he just stayed quiet but listening to what i said.
then, i asked him what was he planning to do sice i did not wanted to have sex with him. he said he was going to wait for me. then i asked him that if he was serious. he said yes, he said that he was going to marry me. that he was going to ask me to marry him the day i was less expecting it. wow!!!
and so far we have 5 months together, and 6 soon. so i think he is really going seriously for it. he is so in love with me !!!! and i am with him.
but im not letting my love blind me or making me do things that i thing it would be right just because he is my bf.
our relationship is very strong and growing stronger everyday. sorry but i had to say about my story <3
this was really helpful…it seems lik all the questions i have never really give me the answers im looking for….thank you soooo much….hopefully when me and my boyfriend do it its not a bad expirence…but my last question is how do you know if your body is ready @ 16..i just want 2 b safe..and are teens my age mentally ready? thanks again for the help
Not a problem. I’m always more than happy to help.
My opinion is that a girl’s body isn’t ready for sex at 16. You’re still growing (down there too). Your body won’t be fully developed for a few more years. Your boyfriend will fit easier when you’re older.
As for being mentally ready, that depends. It depends on what sort of person you are, your maturity, how long you’ve been with your boyfriend for, what your relationship is like, how much the two of you love each other, whether or not you have any doubts about doing it etc.
When my girlfriend and I were 16 we thought we were mentally ready for sex. We were very naive though. Looking back now we definitely weren’t ready. I hate to think of how it could have affected our relationship at that age if we did have sex. Because we now have a very solid foundation to our relationship, sex won’t be a problem.
Hey,,,i am a lady,who is married. at the same time,.. am planning to havesex for the first time.
The problem is :
1) I am quite nervous abt having sex.
2) What position is best suited, while doing sex, for the first time..?
Any suggestions??
Hi my question is that any time am having sex with girl ,she normaly cry .Why?
Stephen, the girl is probably crying out of humiliation. Look at yourself in the mirror. You pathetic looser. Next time pay the prostitute more money. she deserves it if she is with you.
Any beautiful girl can me +2347035744750 for a seriour date
l girl can me +2347035744750 for a seriour date
wtf? didnt i just say for people not to post stuff looking for love…and dude, if a girl is crying, she doesnt like it, so stop and ask whats wrong…either that or ur raping her…
this site seriously needs a flag comment system and authorized mods
That is the most immature sh*t i have ever heard. Get off this website you pathetic loser.
Ok. I am 16 years old. I have a girlfriend that I have been with for almost 5 months. She says that she wants to have sex with me. and I want to have sex with her too. but she wont cause shes not ready. How can I make her more confortable with having sex?
Spend more time getting to know her and let the both of you grow up a bit.
Spend your time worrying about loving her, not about sex. Sex isn’t important. Just love her the best you can. If you do that and don’t worry about sex, then she’ll feel more comfortable about it all anyway. Don’t worry if she never feels ready, because sex doesn’t matter. Your time and energy should be going into making her happy. If you love and care about this girl you shouldn’t care if you never have sex with her. You should love her more than you love sex. If you feel like that, then make sure she knows!
Is it hard to get it in there? Does the girl usally bleed in the middle of it? Does the guy bleed?
Whats the best way to have a girl have sex with you.
Well, the girl will bleed cause that’s just how things are. it wont be much but it is enough to stain ur sheets so make sure you have something to put below you guys
you wont bleed lol. Ok the best way to have sex with a girl is just tell her you love her and then ask her to have sex, get her turned on and then try it. use a condom and then give her a fake cell phone. ok that’s it i guess, good luck.
I’m super young and this guy wants me to have sex.
I want to but at the same time I’m scared of a few things. My mother has made it super clear about all the bad things. I was recently cheated on4times in front of my face and I was with this guy for 1 year. its only been idk a week and i wanted my first time to be with him but I’m not sure. Help?
If you’re not sure, don’t do it.
If you think you’re too young, don’t do it.
You need to be totally ready!
You’ll still be scared, but you’ll be in it together & it’ll be what you want 100%.
Don’t let yourself be talked into it if it’s not what you want
I agree with Jo.
That’s fine that you want your first time to be with this guy, but why rush into it? Why do it now? Surely it can wait. After a week you hardly know this guy. How do you know he won’t break your heart like this other guy did? I understand that your trust in guys is gone because of this other guy, but not all guys are like that. There are some nice ones.
Sure, you spent a year with this other guy, getting to know him, and then he broke your heart, so why not have sex with this other guy after one week? After a year he might do the same thing anyway right? You have no idea so you might as well just have sex with him now? Well, it’s possible that he might cheat on you. The thing is though that the longer you’re with a guy, the more you learn about him. After being with a guy for only a week, you have no idea who he is. For all you know he’s scum and you don’t know it yet. After a year though, you’ll know him a lot better and have a much better idea of what he’s like and whether or not he’ll cheat on you. When you know he truly loves you and cares about you then you should maybe start thinking about having sex with him. Why risk having sex with someone you hardly know?
You don’t need to rush into this. Get to know the guy first. And never ever let anyone pressure you into having sex. It’s your decision, not his. If he can’t respect that then he’s not worth holding on to. Only do it if you’re 100% sure you want to.
i agree with both of them…get to know your girlfriend better before sex…besides… my girlfriend says that me saying ill wait to have sex untill shes ready is the hottest thing shes ever heard anyone say.
good luck
ok so me and this girl are talking which s like (pre-dating) and we’re basically together but not with the title its wierd i know but anywho
me and her hooked up and we’ve done everything except oral sex and sex , and we’ve been talking for eight months, and she’s scarred from ex bf cuz he fucked her oer and what not so she still kinda has her guard up , but she told me she had sex with her ex bf 3x’s and this oter dude 3 in a row in one night or what ever , she lost it to ths kid. i dont think she’s a pro really lol and i’m a virgin and we talk openly and se came up one time and she said she wouldnt have sex with me cuz i’m a virgin….bulllll
i think its worse to have a girl be a virgin more like pain and more than average caution . where a guy as a virgin can learn all he needs is a lil guidence and after reading this i dont thinks its that bad. she claims she wont have sex unless she knows it’ll be as goood as the kid she lost it to. its almost a year since she’s done it and i think it was only good cuz it was her first time . i try telling her its not bad, im not trying to base our relationship on sex but honestly its a topic u should discuss and obviously wanna do. i’m 17 btw she is too.
how do i get her to realize its not bad for me to be a virgin?
i’m experienced with everything else but this and she was more than wilng to hook up
i need some advice thank you =]
If the reason she won’t have sex with you actually is that you’re a virgin, then I’m really sorry, but she doesn’t care about you. I feel sorry for you with the situation you’re in. If she truly cared about you then you being a virgin wouldn’t bother her.
I’m struggling to even see her point of view. I can’t see how being a virgin is a bad thing. You could try telling her that you might not have any experience with other girls, but you want to get experience with her and to learn her and her body. And that with time you’ll improve.
Personally, if her reason really is that you’re an inexperienced virgin, then I’d tell her to get lost. She obviously cares about sex and her own sexual gratification more than she cares about you. I mean, you shouldn’t care if you never have sex with her ever. The point is though that she doesn’t want sex with you. She just wants guaranteed good sex.
There’s a chance that she might be just using the virgin thing as an excuse though, or she’s scared or unsure of things because you’re a virgin. She could be messed up from what happened with her other boyfriends. If that’s the case then what she needs from you is some understanding and patience. Don’t pressure her for sex. If she doesn’t want it then just leave it. Forget about it entirely.
If you really care about this girl then forget about sex. Just focus on loving her and caring about her. Spend your time trying to make her happy. Don’t worry about sex at all. After all, it’s love which is important, not sex. And if she falls in love with you too, then she’ll probably want sex with you anyway.
That’s the most important point though; focus on love. Sex doesn’t matter.
again max is right…if theres no love…forget sex…
imma restate my stance on sex, to me virginity is like a wedding ring, its something you only give to someone u love so much your going to be with them forever…have sex without love and its just a huge mistake to regret later, regardless of what happens.
if there is a 14 year old girl that lives in 29 palms i am single and also 14 you can call me at 1910-546-8893
Daniel, no girl is going to call you. They know nothing about you other than the fact that you’re trying to pick up girls on a sex advice website. It’s not exactly a drawing card. This tactic will be repelling girls, not attracting them.
You said earlier that you’re looking for a girl to have sex with. Why is it that you’re only interested in sex? Why aren’t you looking for a loving relationship instead? What you’re looking for is just more empty loneliness.
What’s stopping you from finding girls in person? Why have you resorted to trying to pick them up in here? Why not go out and meet girls in person?
Please answer my questions. I honestly just want to help.
no one listens…this site is a article turned advice fourum for sex/relationship help…if your comment doesnt contribute something meaningful (like a question, advice, or something positive u have to say) then dont post it…seriously
How do you know you are healthy enough for sex? I’ve gone through this little “thing” when I was a kid. It’s hard to explain, and it’s really embarassing talking about this because I’ve never spoken a word about it until now. I’m saying this in complete confidence, and I’m trusting that no one judges me for it. It’s hard enough to talk about this, as it is. I don’t need people critisizing me. When I was around 8 years old, I was in my fathers room watching TV. He had to go take a shower, so when he was, I took the remote and started flipping through the channels. This one movie came on. It was a woman sneaking into a guys house or something, she was on his bed, all feeling herself up and everything, and me being 8 and really stupid and not knowing what she was doing, I did the same thing she did. It was all new to me because I was only 8. But it got farther. Kind of a hump-like thing. The arm (or pillow) right up against your vagina, and just humping, I guess. But, the embarassing part of it is that I still have to do it. It kind of just grew on me. It’s like a physical heroin thing; you’re addicted, there’s nothing you can do about it. I’ve been doing this since I was 8, and I’m 16 now. It starts off all light and everything, but towars the end, it gets harder and everything. It never hurts, but it does feel good. I’m not gunna lie, even for me now, I’m 16 so my hormones are going pretty much crazy, so it does take care of “needs”. I’m just afraid that I could have messed up my vagina because of doing this so much, for the passed 8 years. I think I’m ready to have sex, but what if something goes wrong, all because of that thing I did for the passed 8 years? I know, this is probably the most fucked up thing ever. Blame it on my dad for not having the parental thing on his TV!
Don’t worry, you won’t have caused any damage or messed anything up. You should be perfectly fine to have sex still. Honestly, don’t worry about it at all. You’re not the first girl I’ve heard about doing that, and a lot of girls do the same thing to their boyfriend’s groin if they don’t want to have sex. Believe it or not, it can often feel better than sex itself.
You’re more normal than you think.
*raises hand sheepishly* as to that last thing max said my girl and i have personally done…it works spectacularly… it keeps our desire for each other at a level where we wont do something we regret…if anyone wants ideas for sex alternitives i can help there
I’m 19 and my boyfriend and i have recently celebrated our 1 year. We are very much in love. I am a virgin and he has only slept with one girl. At the beginning we took things very slowly. We did nothing but kiss for about 4 months. I was very inexperienced and he completely respected (and still does) my feelings and thoughts. Now we have done everything but have sex. We have just decided that we are both ready to take the next step, but we aren’t planning on when it will happen. It will work out when it’s supposed to work out.
I would like to say to all the very young people and to the people that are unsure that you can have an amazing time without having sex. There are plenty of things that can make you feel great besides sex. It’s really really important to be open with everything. If you’re nervous or unsure about something, ASK QUESTIONS! It may be a little awkward but getting answers will make you feel a ton better. If you’re ready, you’ll know. If you have to ask yourself if you’re ready, you’re not. Being in love will make it much more special and comfortable.
I completely trust my boyfriend and know that he will take care of me and make sure I am ok. Sure, I’m a little nervous because I don’t know what it will feel like but sharing it with the man that I love and trust will make everything ok. We are definitely protecting ourselves so we won’t have to worry.
If you think you want to have sex, please take a step back and really think about it. TALK TO EACHOTHER. PROTECT YOURSELVES. Don’t rush. You have your whole life ahead of you. Trust me, you will never regret waiting.
ps. Thanks for this website. It was helpfull in clearing up the few little questions I had.
good for you, hope it works out
as for everyone else this is what max and i are trying to help get you…the best relationship u can get with the best parter u can have…were not trying to shove our opinions down ur throat. thanks to everyone whos taken our advice and told us what happened…it really says something to me that a person saw fit to reply to our advice with what happened and expressly thanking us.
well im 14 nd i have been goin out with ma bf for a while and i have been having strong urges to have sex with him. the problem is that 1. there’s always somebody home so we have nowhere to do it 2.what if the condom pops and i get pregnant im too young to have a kid i want to finish school 3. what if his penis doesnt want to go in im thinkin that will be an awkward moment. jus too add on i am a virgin. please help me!
You’re only 14. Of course people are always going to be around. Why not just wait until you’re older and able to find somewhere private. There’s no rush. You have your entire life to have sex. Have some patience.
You’re smart to be worried about the condom breaking because it’s a very real possibility. Condoms are only 98% effective at the most, and only if they’re used perfectly. That means that one out of 50 times you have sex it will be as if you’re not using a condom at all. How do you know when that time will be? It could be your first time.
The truth is that the only guaranteed way to avoid pregnancy is to not have sex. Other than that there’s no way to avoid the risk. Holding off from sex isn’t a bad thing though. I’m 25 and have been with my girlfriend since I was 15. We both want to wait until marriage for sex. Although we really want to have sex now, we’re happy waiting because our relationship is so great. The love we have for each other is better than sex ever could be.
If you’re worried that things might get awkward with your boyfriend then you don’t know him well enough to be thinking about having sex with him. If you’re that worried about an awkward moment then don’t have sex with him until you’re more comfortable around him. If my girlfriend and I had a time where I couldn’t fit or something it wouldn’t be awkward at all. We’d probably just laugh.
I know you probably feel like you’re old enough and ready for sex, but by the sound of it you’re not at all. Your urges aren’t signs you’re ready for sex. They’re just your hormones screaming “sex sex sex!” Don’t let them tell you what to do. I suggest growing up a bit and getting to know your boyfriend better.
Me and my gril did just laugh, we tried to have sex (with a condom of course) and if wouldn’t go in… As for the rest of ur comment u have some well found fears and questions. Google some things… It really helps
i am 14 years old lookling for a gf in 29 palms california you can call me at 1910-546-8893
Get the fuck out of here Daniel… NOW!
Daniel, please reply to my questions further up.
No girl is going to call you. Trust me. By posting your phone number in here you’re just driving them away.
I want to help you though so please answer my questions.
ok so what are your questions
look at ur last post that used ur number…not the one this is currently replying to
*Copy and paste*
Daniel, no girl is going to call you. They know nothing about you other than the fact that you’re trying to pick up girls on a sex advice website. It’s not exactly a drawing card. This tactic will be repelling girls, not attracting them.
You said earlier that you’re looking for a girl to have sex with. Why is it that you’re only interested in sex? Why aren’t you looking for a loving relationship instead? What you’re looking for is just more empty loneliness.
What’s stopping you from finding girls in person? Why have you resorted to trying to pick them up in here? Why not go out and meet girls in person?
Please answer my questions. I honestly just want to help.
Okay daniel seriously, if a girl is here she already has someone she love or really likes n wants to have sex wit. D
Do you honestly think any girl would call you. Its like walking into disneyland looking for a hooker. Stupid idea. Really stop thinking with your dick!!
thank you guys i appreciate it .. i also found out its because of her other bf’s so her mind is screwed up, and she s using my virginity as an excuse . u guys are right i’m just going to focus on her like i’ve been doing its always goin to be in my head but i’ll see what goes on in time, i mean if she can do everything else with me that means she trusts me somewhat so who knows it might be in the future.
but i appreciate al the help if i have any more questions i’m definately coming back!
awsome deal man… good luck with your girl…and feel free to come back for questions….i get enough flames on fan fic so the positive feedback here is a good day maker for me… again good luck to u 2
Not a problem. I’m always happy to help.
That makes sense that she’s using your virginity as an excuse. Her not wanting sex because of your virginity didn’t make any sense to me.
That sucks that her previous boyfriends screwed her mind up so much. How horrible for her. If anything’s going to help her it will be your love and understanding, so focus on that. Remove any pressure she might be feeling about having sex and let her know you’ll love her regardless of whether or not you have sex. Focus on making her happy.
Good luck with her.
Okay so this guy n i have been talking for 6 months.Im 16 hes 15 (im older by a few weeks) Around the second month he asked if he could b my first n me b his. I told him i wasnt ready, n he said he would wait for me forever. It has still come up since then, mostly me asking what would happen if i did get pregnant. To which he said he would help me with the kid financially, emotionally, and after high school he would marry me. He has nvr forced me to do anything ever. The most weve done is making out wit me on his lap, completely topless. But recently i found out that hes been saying he loves me, but he only loves me not love loves me…wtf does that mean? Hes says its cuz his ex gf pretty much ripped out his heart n he doesnt want to feel that pain again. I know i love him, but im not sure if he loves me. Im not sure if i should or shouldnt have sex wit him anymore. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
Don’t have sex with him yet. If your boyfriend has issues, he needs to get them sorted out before he ends up hurting you.
I have no idea what the difference is between loving someone and love loving someone. To be honest it all sounds like a load of rubbish to me. He needs to sort out what he wants. He can’t spend his entire life holding back because he’s afraid of getting hurt. What sort of life is that? There’s the old cliché saying: it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. And what does he expect you to do? Hang around despite him not being able to devote himself to you?
Only when he’s sorted all this out in his head and truly loves you with all his heart should you even think about having sex with him.
It’s good to see that he’s willing to deal with the consequences if you get pregnant, but are you? It’s one thing to say he’ll look after you and the baby if you get pregnant, but it’ll far harder than he realises. I doubt he’s ever given it any serious thought. He mentioned marrying you after high school if this happened, but to be able to financially support you he’ll need to drop out of high school to work. Would you two be able to give your child a good life by having it so early? Surely a far better solution is to make sure you don’t get pregnant in the first place. If you want to be 100% sure that doesn’t happen, don’t have sex. That’s the only way to guarantee you don’t get pregnant. It’s not that hard either. It just takes a bit of self control, and it doesn’t mean you can’t do other things instead. My girlfriend and I started going out when we were 15 and have spent 9 amazing years together not ever having sex. It’s not that crazy an idea.
Think carefully about it.
i had his issue unfortunately, what it is is that he loves u but hes afraid to get too close because if you leave him it may drive him to depression or even him killing himself…the most important thing is to show him you would never leave him…this has to be done slowly so dont expect immidiate results. eventually tho he wont care about how much u leaving him will hurt cuz he knows u will never leave him and he will love u with everything he has….my current girlfriend had to do the same thing and trust me…she doesnt regret a second of it, i dont regret anything…so it should work for u…
good luck
hi…
I’m nearly 16 n still a virgin,
my bf is 18 n we’ve been going out for 15months… i wanna have sex with him n him with me but i know that I’m not hundred percent ready, plus I’m having a major exam this year end so we agreed to not worry about sex until next year, but still I’m scared about the pain…
i love him, I’m sure i do… n he loves me too, i know that too… but I’m not exactly thin so I’m really shy about my body even though countless times he told me that its he finds me beautiful, I’m scared if his reaction… help me please?
You said he loves you and finds you beautiful so don’t worry about a thing. I know that being a girl you’re going to be self-conscious anyway, but he’s honestly going to think your body is beautiful.
My girlfriend is honestly the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and I tell her how beautiful she is when ever I can. She’s self-conscious as well though. So as a guy in the same position as your boyfriend, trust him when he says you’re beautiful, because that’s honestly what he thinks.
You also said you’re not 100% ready for sex. Make sure you don’t have it until you’re fully sure. You don’t want to do anything you’ll regret.
Good luck.
thnx.
What you said is really helping me…
This blog is really helpful specially for girls like myself…
Thank you again!
I wanted to share with everyone my experience in case this helped anybody. I already saw 3 people in this chat (apart from my own) having the same problem and no one giving an answer. So i was a virgin and me and my 18 year old virgin girlfriend wanted to have sex. We tried 3 times and it didnt work, it was like i wasnt aiming right or something, it was like you encountered a wall that didnt let you go in more and then you werent horny anymore. So we failed to have sex 3 times and we were both really really turned on and we both really wanted to have sex after being 5 months and a half together. She was very tight also and it hurted a lot when i tried to go in. We loved each other and everything. That was what i posted on december asking for help and no one knew what to say. So, i have an answer now. After the 5 months she went for vacations with her family and we were separated 1 month and a half. We talked through skype or phone everyday. She said she didnt use to masturbate but in that time she did. She put two fingers in herself and that was the key to all because she opened herself up a bit more (she bleeded). Then when we were together again, we managed to do it, using lub as always and condom and it worked pretty good. It hurted her, but we tried to make it very slowly and less painful. She bleeded again but it was ok. So it worked and now we just had sex and are no longer a virgin. I just thought i had to share this cause there is not many people in the internet who help you with this things and well, i went through that.
What to when you both want to have sex and are both virgins and you fail the first few times:
1. Buy condoms and lub
2. Talk talk talk with her and make sure you are both very sure you want to do it.
3. Make sure you are alone with no one to bother.
4. If it doesnt work the first times, ask her to (or you might do it yourself but it might hurt her more) finger herself with two fingers at least (she will probably bleed)
5. Next time you try i promise it will be much easier.
good luck guys and i hope this at least might help someone.
hi my name is natasha.well i have found a boy online he lives awat from me and he is older tha me.we love each other we talk all the time.he is not a virgin but i am n he knows i am.he said he is comin down n we are planning to have sex.i am bit worried in case somethin goes wrong.he told me that we dont have to have sex if i dont want to he will wait until i am ready but i am just scared incase he gets board if i tell him that i want to wait,then i dont want to wait cause we love each other.i just dont know wot to do
If your boyfriend loves you like you said he does, then you have nothing to worry about. If he truly loves you he won’t get bored of you for not having sex. All he’ll care about is you being happy.
If he does get bored and want sex, then he doesn’t actually love you, and he’s not worth your time.
Never ever have sex with someone if you don’t want to. Never do it just because they want to or because you’re worried about them getting bored with you. You’ll regret it, and the only reason they’ll be doing it is to fulfil their own selfish desires.
Love has absolutely nothing to do with sex, so if you love someone, it doesn’t matter whether or not you have sex. Someone who loves you would happily wait forever to have sex with you.
There’s a stupid myth that guys need sex, or that they won’t hang around if they don’t get it. It’s absolute garbage spread by jerk guys who want nothing but sex and have no idea what love is. There are lots of guys who care about their girlfriends more than they care about sex though. I’ve spent 9 years with my girlfriend and never had sex with her. I’ve never got bored because I love her.
thnk u .but shud i be worried cause he has sex be4 and he might not think tht am as good as wt he has had be4.or he might think i dnt have a nice body but he has seen me n says i have but if he see s me with out iclothes thn he might htink not:(
Don’t be worried about being compared to previous girls. If he truly loves you now, he isn’t going to be thinking about the other girls. He’s obviously with you and no longer with those other girls for a reason.
I’m gonna say, and I’m just spitballin here, if he hasn’t seen you naked before I’m not sure if having sex with him right now is such a great idea. You should be completely comfortable with each other before you even discuss it. Getting naked in front of someone for the first time is scary in itself and adding that anxiety to the anxiety caused from potentially losing your virginity in the same sitting can be really overwhelming. Being comfortable with your partner is going to make it a lot easier.
I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I suggest waiting to get comfortable being with each other in person. Especially if you have only been talking online. For all you know he could be 40 yr old cho mo. Just use your best judgement and hopefully things will work out how you want it to. Good luck with everything.
If he loves you then you have nothing to worry about. Even if he’s been with other girls before, he’s going to think you’re beautiful. He also won’t care about how good the sex is. He’ll only care about you and your happiness. You have nothing to worry about.
I agree with what 19virgingirl said. If you’re not comfortable around him then don’t have sex with him. Spend time getting to know him first, especially if you’ve only ever talked to him over the internet. Spend time actually being with him and getting more comfortable around him. Sex can wait. There’s no hurry to have it. Just do it when ever you’re comfortable and ready. You can wait as long as you want. It could be a year, 10 years, or 100 years. It doesn’t matter. He loves you so he should understand and be willing to wait forever.
i’m erinn, i have 2 questions.. who should start first? like who would push on it first. and would the first position matter with your first time? maybe comfort wise.
hey do any of you girls that are 14 or 15 years old live in 29 palms califonia
hey do any of you girls that are 14 or 15 years old live in 29 palms california
My goodness Daniel! Even if they do live near you they won’t call you. You’re just some random guy who they know nothing about. You want to know how you’re coming across in here? As a creepy pathetic loser who can’t get a girlfriend so has to resort to using a sex advice forum to try and pick up girls. Do you honestly think that sounds appealing to girls? You’ll have them running for the hills.
I’m sorry for being so blunt, but you need to hear it. The truth is that you don’t need to resort to this. I feel sorry for you and I want to help.
Why are you trying to pick up girls in here rather than in real life? What’s stopping you?
Earlier you said you were looking for a girlfriend to have sex with. How come you’re looking for sex and not love?
If I had to hazard a guess, I would most likely say its due to being socially inept and/or his hormones raging out of control to the point where he can no longer control them. The reason(s) he looks for sex rather than love should also be obvious; the previously mentioned hormones, and the fact that he would have responsibility for that relationship. More than that, he probably doesn’t even understand the concept of love.
That or he’s a pedophile.
but Max (as usual) DOES have a point there Danny-boy. Why is it you’re only looking for sex and not a relationship? More than that, why DO you have to stoop so low as to use a first timer advice forum? Perhaps its because you’re nothing more than a pathetic little shut-in that does nothing by sit, barricaded in his room all day in front of a computer hoping to get laid.
At any rate, what you’re asking is not exactly relevant to the topic in this particular thread, I would advise leaving as you have a more or less non-existent chance of getting lucky in here, most of the people in here are either taken (hence why they’re here in the first place) or they have this little thing called class.
here’s something REALLY funny:
“Danny-boy” as Sherlock put it, has actually done this in pretty much ALL the threads on ask student. don’t believe me? google “29 palms california 1910-546-8893″ and look at the results.
Wtf is you obsession with daniel?? Are you like some kind of pedofile? If i were you i would just suicide and do a favor to the world… You are completely free of putting your address and name and telephone number if that’s what you want. Otherwise it wouldnt be allowed or it would be deleted; its common sense. If daniel wants to puts his information its his problem not everyone’s problem. Why does that bother you so much? Do you have some kind of complex with meeting people over the internet? Did you get yourself in a big mess doing so? I dont personally find it good or anything but why the hell would anybody keep insulting him? And then google him? Get a life. You just read what you find interesting or helps you in any way, if someone puts his info and your not interested the simply DONT READ IT. Geez guys, this is pathetic. And fricking Max Power, you give the same fricking advice to everybody, a monkey or a machine could give the same if not better advices than you. “dont have sex if your not 100% sure” and “the only thing important is that you love her/him “with all your heart, sex is secondary” I think you can think a little more the problems of this people and give a somewhat better advice, because if you havent noticed, you say the same thing to everyone. Just read all of your comments so far and then you will see what am talking about. If i had more time, i would try to do that, but am sorry… i dont have that much time now. Good luck to everyone and dont take Max really seriously, he has said the same thing to everyone, regardless of your problems.
Geez DontbotherDaniel. Sooorry!
Perhaps I keep giving the same advice because a lot of people have the same problems. Or the same advice is relevant to most problems. Not everyone is going to trawl through the comments reading previous advice from me, and I want to help these people, so I will post my messages even if they’re variations of the same thing. It might be annoying for you, but I don’t care what you think. What I care about is each individual person I’m giving advice to. Take your own advice. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.
As you said, people don’t have to take me seriously. I’m just trying to give the best advice I can. It’s not up to me whether or not people listen to me. I don’t see why repeating the same advice is a reason to not take me seriously though.
I don’t know about everyone else, but my problem with Daniel is that he clearly has problems and I want to help. He wouldn’t be posting in here if he didn’t have issues.
And I just had a though. Perhaps the reason why DontbotherDaniel is so upset is because he actually is Daniel. Just a thought.
The only problem I have is that he’s attempting to get a girl for sex, and ONLY sex, on a FIRST TIMER SEX ADVISE THREAD (as well as every other thread on this site.) Honestly, it’s downright sickening. Personally I have no problems with meeting people over the internet, I met someone I care about very much on the internet. I honestly would have no problem with him though if he hadn’t posted the same bloody comment 20 times in same thread (and every other thread.) As for having no life, (please look at all of Daniel’s comments in every other thread in this site then come back and defend him) I am an electrical engineering student in university, with all of the work I’m piled up with, I’m well aware I have no life. As for the rest of my response, please see Max’s response to your response. You’re bang on too Max, He probably is Daniel.
Max, ‘don’t bother daniel’ is probably Daniel’s Pathetic looser father. He is happy that Daniel is looking for a girl to have sex with. He is afraid that if he doesn’t find one soon, he will follow his homosexual tendencies. I agree with the advice you give most of these kids. Keep it up!
jesus is this fourum going to the flame wars or something…god….
also i would appreciate the gay comments kept to a minimum, my dad is gay and it rally bothers me when people talk about gays negatively
i had sex recentaly with my b.f and iam so depresed tht i had felt a little pain during sex…
why??plzz helpme out
Don’t worry; it’s normal for girls to experience pain when having sex for the first time. It’s nothing to feel bad about.
Are you sure it’s the pain you’re depressed about though?
Hey! i’m 19, Get to the point, i had sex with my girl, but, its her first time, where else is not mine, but its MY first time doing with a first timer. I wish to know How long would the pain last if she’s a first timer? Because it hurts when i see her in pain.
best begginer post I’ve seen, I wish I’d seen it years ago before I lost my v
I have a question that I really need answered please help…
Me and my bf are both 17 and were ready to have sex but I’m a little worried.. I’m still a virgen and he’s not. But he doesn’t think I’m a virgen, my question is, is there a way he can tell I’m a virgen while were having sex, besides the bleeding?
Why can’t you tell him you’re a virgin? That’s the sort of thing your boyfriend should know. It’s not a bad thing, and he certainly won’t think so.
I’m an 18 year old virgin, and I want to have sex with this guy on V-Day that I have been seeing for 3 weeks. We both have done everything but sex with each other and feel completely comfortable with each other. He is not a virgin, though, but I can tell he really cares about me and he is certainly not pressuring me. We both care about each other and want to do this as a sign of intimacy. What I am worried about is my body. He has told me that he finds me incredibly sexy, but he has only seen me topless and with clothes on. I’m worried that my body might not be as hot as he expected. I’m pretty sure we can do it in the dark, which would be a lot easier, but it’s mostly my vagina I’m worried about. I shave it, but it prickly in the same day I shave it. It’s not extremely bad, but it’s still noticeable. I also hate the way it looks. I don’t know how a “pretty” vagina is supposed to look. Is it a big deal what my vagina looks likes or if it is slightly prickly? I’m very worried. Please help.
I’m an 18 year old virgin, and I want to have sex with this guy on V-Day that I have been seeing for 3 weeks. We both have done everything but sex with each other and feel completely comfortable with each other. He is not a virgin, though, but I can tell he really cares about me and he is certainly not pressuring me. We both care about each other and want to do this as a sign of intimacy. What I am worried about is my body. He has told me that he finds me incredibly sexy, but he has only seen me topless and with clothes on. I’m worried that my body might not be as hot as he expected. I’m pretty sure we can do it in the dark, which would be a lot easier, but it’s mostly my vagina I’m worried about. I shave it, but it gets prickly in the same day I shave it. It’s not extremely bad, but it’s still noticeable. I also hate the way it looks. I don’t know how a “pretty” vagina is supposed to look. Is it a big deal what my vagina looks likes or if it is slightly prickly? I’m very worried. Please help.
A lot of girls feel that way about what’s between their legs. Your boyfriend will find it attractive though.
There is a weird myth that how a girl naturally looks down there is weird and ugly. Porn has a lot to do with that since a lot of porn photos are actually airbrushed to make what’s between a women’s legs look pre-pubescent. Sick, I know. Guys, and even girls now, have been convinced that these fake porn photos are how girls are supposed to look. A lot of guys pressure their wives and girlfriends to have surgery to make them look the same. And sadly now, girls themselves want surgery because they think that what’s between their legs is weird and ugly. It’s so sad that it’s come to this. There is nothing wrong with how girls naturally look down there. You should never worry about it. I can guarantee you that you look normal.
You’ve only been with this guy for three weeks so it’s understandable that you’re self conscious about your body. If you wait until you know you love each other or until you find a guy who really loves you, then you won’t have to worry about how your body looks. If a guy loves you he will think you look beautiful no matter what.
Thanks Max. I am certainly starting to feel better about that, but will he be uncomfortable if I am slightly prickly? Will he find it completely unattractive and not want to sleep with me? It’s also only partly shaved, and the rest is trimmed. Will the trim be uncomfortable, as well?
I can’t comment on whether or not it will feel uncomfortable for him since I’ve never had sex. My guess is that it should be fine.
As for how it looks, it honestly doesn’t matter. He’s going to find it attractive no matter what. You honestly have nothing to worry about.
Hi, this isn’t really a sex question but I need some advice…. I just meet this boy on myspace and we have been talking for about a month, we really want to meet. Even though he only lives about a mile from me the problem is my grandma (who I live with) she really don’t let me have ppl over and I know she won’t let me go to his house. Should I lie to her and tell her I’m going to a friends house then meet him somewhere or should I do something else? Please I really need help….
Do not. There’s a chance it might be a rapist. Don’t ever take your chances like that.
Brandon’s right. For all you know he could be a totally different person to what you expect. He might be a 50 year old guy wanting to kidnap you and rape you. Be very very careful.
If you’re ever going to meet someone you’ve met over the internet, do it in a public place with lots of people around. Taking a friend wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Hi im mark.. i have a friend and she wants to have sex with me. We’re not in a relationship. What should i do?
I want to have sex with her too but i’am afraid to get her pregnant. Please help..
just do it with her but put protection on! if you got protection then you dont have anythin to worry about. condom is the best
Sorry but if you use a condom you do still have something to worry about. Condoms are only 98% effective at the most if used perfectly. That’s like not using one at all one out of 50 times you have sex. You have no idea when that time will be. It could be your first time. What would you do if you got her pregnant? Could the two of you take care of a baby together?
The only way to be 100% sure you don’t get a girl pregnant is to not have sex with her. It might suck, but it’s the truth.
Are you sure you want to have sex with her anyway? She’s not even your girlfriend. Wouldn’t it be a lot better to date her and at least have her as your girlfriend first? Not to mention love her?
You don’t have to have sex with her. As a guy you can say no. There is nothing at all wrong with that.
Very helpful information. Just one grammatical point: It is “go slowly.” But thank you very much.
man!! it was actually really helpful! this answered every question i had! one question tho… what if you like someone but your parents dont allow you to date? i tried askin a girl out once but chickened out cuz i was afraid if ma parents found out i would be date! i know its kinda hard to reply to something like this but please help! do you think i should wait till i move out and living as an individual? thankX….. yeah
oh and i meant dead instead of date at one part!
I’m 18 and virgin, i wanna hear from whoever can help, if it will hurt, i want to do it with my boyfriend we are ready been going out for 2 yrs. but i dont want it to hurt any helpful tips??
I am 20 years old and I had sex for the first time when I was 17. It wasn’t planned. It was on spring break and I was drunk. So as you can see, I don’t really count that one. I am into this guy who wants to have sex. He is way more experienced than I am ( I haven’t done much besides mak outand then sex..
no oral or anything). So i have some questions
1- Will it hurt if its been 3 years since the last time I’ve had sex?
2- Any advice as to what I need to do? I don’t want to just lay there and let him do all the work, but I also don’t want to look like an idiot trying something that isn’t cool/right.
3- What do I do after? Lay there and cuddle, talk, leave…?
4- Kind of goes with 2 but what do i do about oral? I’ve never given it or recieved it so I have no clue… I’m basically a virgin all over again but the guy is way more experienced than I am.
thanks!
thanks
Im a 19yr. old male virgin. This monday i tried to have sex with my girlfriend but her thingy is so tight that i couldnt get my thing in there. everytime i was goin enter my penis, she screams like hell and cries (i can see tears in her eyes). so i just stopped and we ended up with handjob. She coming over to my house on friday as well. and we r going to try having sex again. I have bought condoms as well.
So advice me what to do? i dont want to hurt her.i love her so much..
thanks
Joc reven
Make sure she’s fully relaxed. If she’s even just slightly tense she’ll be too tight for you. Help her relax. Give her a really nice long back massage. You shouldn’t expect sex out of it. You should do it because it’s a nice thing to do for her. But if she does then wants to have sex, she’ll hopefully be nice and relaxed.
this was really helpful for me but i think im just gone wait till im married!!
Good for you! Me too.
Why?
It has always interested me that people still put so much import on marriage, it is no longer required culturally, nor from most religious groups, and in the end it is just a piece of paper.
If you love each other, as you are so fond of telling people to find love first, then surely that is enough, you don’t need other people to witness it and validate it for you?
Admittedly if it for religious or legal reasons then I suppose marriage can still be useful.
For some marriage is just a piece of paper. For others it’s a union between two people by God.
Some people believe God intended sex to be between a married man and woman. Some people want to save their virginity for their husband or wife; so that they can lose it to the person they’ll spend the rest of their life with. Some people don’t want to get pregnant until they’re ready to have children, and that may be when they’re married. Some people may just think it’s a nice tradition to follow.
There are many reasons to wait until marriage, all of them valid.
hello, ok so i have been intimate before for about 8 years, i was intimate with my husband and the next morning i wake up i was bleeding like crazy which is nuts because i had just got off my period a 9dyas prior to this, now im not sure whats is wrong. This never happened to me before.
im i having two periods in one month? i dont remember my cherry poping my first time, Is it possible that its just poped after 8 years of having intercourse?
i would see a doctor, i cant answer you question…and had u asked in real life it would be against the law to answer that question. that law exists for good reason so im just going to point u to the neearest doctor. its probably better for u to ask one anyway
I agree, I would ask a doctor about it.
How exactly would it be illegal to answer this question if asked in real life though?
im pretty sure it is because by law you arent allowed to give out medical advice (or treatment for that matter) without the proper qualifications. thats why a nurse cant assign medications, or a perscription, or diagnose the patient
Hey, I am 16 years old. I wanted to have sex with someone so I thought i’d pull a girl in my year. I think she is a great girl and she is attractive. But I do not love her as such. Anyway I pulled her and we we’re at her house, oh and we tried a few times before but I couldn’t get hard. But this time I got hard ^^. But just as I was aiming up her mum came through the door. So I had to throw on my clohes and such, we didn’t get found out. I have a few questions really, do you think I should pull her again and lose my virginity, or wait for another girl. I don’t think I could have a relationship with this girl but then again I don’t know. Also is not getting hard the first few times a problem? I’ve read that anxiety can couse this.
Wait until you at least have a girlfriend who you love. Sex isn’t something you do with someone random just because you suddenly feel like having sex. What you want to do is just empty self-gratification.
btw, “self gratifcation” as max put it could land you in jail. why take the risk?
Sex doesn’t have to be about Love and I respect you for understanding that, but if you tried a few times before and you couldn’t get an erection, maybe thats your body telling you it isn’t ready?
ryukage, why would it it get him in jail if they are both 16? They are of the legal age.
Hey im a virgin,age17 and im going to have sex wit my gf, But the problem is that she is not a Virgin and i kind of lie and say that i was not…
Know im chickening out about it
-_-
What i do to not make her notices it?
I mean she believes me that im not because my lucks lie and lie a lot.
HELP
be agressive, make her suck and do other stuff when you tell her to and she won’t know your a v
No no no. What Krista is saying is definitely not the right thing to do.
You need to tell her the truth. It might be hard, but it’s important for your relationship that you tell her those sorts of things. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. I don’t know why she’d think it’s a bad thing. Just suck it up and tell her. Be a man about it.
I’m not a virgin, but I’m an anal virgin and my current bf, “john” really wants to try it – I think I’m going to let him and think he should use lube, but does he need to use a condum?
does your parent need to be with you if you need to get the morning after pill
if you are underage.
no.
i have been with a few friends age 14 and 15.
i suggest you take a friend,
go to your local chemist and say i want to see someone about the morning after pill.
they will explain how to use it and tell you off a bit but that will be it.
they may try to encourage you to tell your parents but you will not be forced
I want to have sex with this girl but I’m scared cause my penis isn’t exactly huge
hi, i had sex for the first time 2 days back. i bleeded slightly right after intercourse. the next day the bleeding was more, & it was dark brown in colour. is it normal?. how long will the bleeding continue? for roughly how many more days?. to add on to it, my period just ended less than one week ago, before we had sex. we had protected sex initially. but afterwhich, he felt that it felt better w/o condom on, so he took it off.
im scared!. pls helppppp! thanks!
I don’t know about the bleeding, but if you’re going to have sex, always do it with a condom! It doesn’t matter what reason your boyfriend has for not wearing one, tell him that if he doesn’t wear one you’re not going to have sex with him.
There’s always a chance of getting pregnant if you have sex, but that chance is very high if you don’t use a condom or any other form of protection. You’re asking for trouble if you have sex without one.
hey, thanks fro answering my question up there..
helped a lot
No more a virgin… She cried a little, she bleeded, but we both had fun.
Thanks mayn!
ok, some news on my front with some pre emptive advice:
my girlfriend and i just had one of those ‘holy shit, make or break’ moments. however the fact that we we’re able to get through it has strengthened our relationship beyond what i have ever thought possible.
guys (or maybe even girls) if ur girlfriend (or boy friend) has done something in the past that would normally be a massive relationship destroyer but she (he) compleatly and seriously regrets it, you should give some very careful thought on how you want the relationship to go from there.
in certain cases you wont regret staying with them.
ok thats my little short piece of advice, and no i wont tell u what happened so dont ask.
l8tr
ryukage
hi m 16 n even my gf…v want 2 have sex ….even she has agreed……but m affraid of affects…..does takin ipil tablet after…sex avoid pregnancy
Nope. You have to start taking the pill a long time before you have sex. They can take months before they start to take affect.
What would you do if you got your girlfriend pregnant? Drop out of school so you could work to support her and the baby? Take care of it for the rest of your life? Think about that because even if you use the pill perfectly, you can get her pregnant. No form of contraception of 100% effective.
Sorry, I didn’t realise I-Pill is a brand name. It looked like a typo when you wrote it.
I was talking about standard contraceptive pills, where as I-Pill is an emergency contraceptive. You shouldn’t plan to use it as a contraceptive. Long term use of a lot of emergency contraceptive pills can cause damage to girls. You should only ever use it if your condom breaks or something. But even then, you can’t guarantee it will work.
You want to avoid getting her pregnant? Don’t have sex. That’s the only 100% affective way to avoid pregnancy. It’s not that hard either. It just takes a bit of self control.
i had sex with my boyfriend yesterday …. it was my first time.. i dint feel alot of pain but it didnt last long… was that my fault did i do somthing wrong ?… im a little bit scared that i wasnt good though because he is alot older than me and has obv had alot of sex….i didnt see any blood though is that a problem ?….and im a bit sore now but that wasnt from the sex i dont think it was from the fore play before ….is this normal ??
You can’t have done anything wrong. If anything, the fact that he didn’t last long shows that he wasn’t very good.
Not all girls bleed so the fact that there was no blood doesn’t matter.
What are you sore from if it wasn’t from the sex?
the fact that it didnt last long is either he wasnt very good or you did something horribly right.
the rest of your concerns are normal methinks
You can’t have done anything wrong. If anything, the fact that he didn’t last long shows that he wasn’t very good.
Not all girls bleed so the fact that there was no blood doesn’t matter.
What are you sore from if it wasn’t from the sex?