Having sex for the first time? Here’s what to expect.
The first time, a.k.a. losing it, being deflowered, breaking the seal, losing your innocence, popping the cherry — there are lots of names for it. But when you’ve decided to have sex for the first time, the names don’t matter. What matters is being ready and having some idea of what it’s all about.
Pre-Play
When the big day (or more likely, night) arrives, no matter how you set it up — with candles, champagne, and sexy lingerie, or as just another night — it’s bound to be more exciting, and at least a little more nerve wracking, than your standard hook-up.
So do yourself a few favors. First, have protection ready. There’s enough to worry about without having to add concern about contracting an infection or dealing with a pregnancy. If you don’t have a supply of condoms, go get some. Frank Littlefield*, a senior at Boston University, remembers making a fast trip to the store on his first night. He was at a friend’s house for a holiday party. When he discovered both he and his (also virginal) partner were latex-less, he “ran to the drug store. I grabbed one of those 75-cent single packs, and sprinted back. She was waiting for me.”
Next, get in the mood. This is supposed to be fun, so relax and enjoy it. Turn on some sexy music, and then it’s time for — hey guys, are you paying attention? — foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. The more excited and worked up you both are, the easier and smoother the whole thing will be.
Getting In
Take it from the veterans: Penetration is rarely as easy as it looks in the movies. So you can probably expect a little, er, poking around before the ship docks in the port. And don’t be surprised if a little manhandling is required. Sharon LaRusso, a senior at UCLA who lost her virginity at age 17, recalls the pre-entry moment as silly, but fun. “There were a few mis-pokes around my thighs. Then he guided it in with his hands,” she remembers.
Prior to experiencing sex, most virgins have heard from a variety of sources that the first time hurts for a woman. According to most women — and some men — this was their biggest concern about the whole experience. The truth? First-time sex may be a tad wince-worthy, but you’re not passing a kidney stone. “It hurt a little, but nowhere near as much as I’d expected,” says Lindsay Kelly, a senior at the University of Delaware who lost it at age 19. Gretchen Lazlo, a sophomore at Colby College and a virgin till age 16, says, “It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I wouldn’t call it painful.”
According to these same women, the best way to make it as painless as possible can be summed up in two words: Go slow. John Tatum of Emory University remembers asking his partner, who was also a virgin, several times how she was doing and if it hurt. “I knew that if she didn’t like it the first time, she probably wouldn’t want to sleep with me again!” he says. “So I was gentle, and kept checking in with her to make sure everything was OK. Later, she told me she was so glad I did that.”
The Act
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: First time out, the big O is mainly the domain of the guys. No, it’s not fair, but that’s just the way it is. If you’re a female and you’re with someone who is very experienced, there’s a chance you might be sent into waves of orgasmic ecstasy, but don’t count on it. “I don’t know of anyone who [had an orgasm] the first time,” says Lindsay. Sharon agrees: “It was at least a year before I came while having sex.”
For guys, by most accounts, the first time is a quickie. Most guys I talked to estimated their first time lasted about 1-3 minutes. At best. “Put it this way: I could have beat Maurice Green,” says Dave Wayland of Princeton University. So coming quickly is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you’re with a more experienced girl, then “they know what to expect from you” says Frank. If you’re with another virgin, you really don’t have to worry. Hannah Kischler, a junior at Smith College, says her first time was “mercifully quick,” since the first time for her “was fun, but it wasn’t generally enjoyable from a physical point of view.”
Experimenting with different positions may not be the best thing your first time around — unless, of course you’re with someone who has more experience than you and who is comfortable taking you through the steps. Most men and women, however, find that the missionary position works just fine for that first test run.
Many novices worry about rhythm. Don’t. Rhythm is something that comes with practice, and from getting to know how your partner moves. “I definitely didn’t know what I was doing,” recalls Barry Glover, a senior at Drew University. “I didn’t really get the motions going. I never practiced on an apple pie or anything.” His recommendation? Slap on some tunes. Sexy tunes, that is. “It’s about slow, constant, steady rhythmical pressure. If you lack rhythm, like I did, try putting on music. It’s like dancing. Just move to the beat.”
Lindsay remembers the one thing that kept going through her mind. ‘I didn’t know what to do with my knees!” she laughs. It may seem trivial, but she, like many other men and women, remembers worrying about simple little things like their limbs. The best advice on this front — and overall — came from Jean Kirkpatrick, a recent graduate of Kenyon College. “There’s nothing you can do wrong. Okay, so you want to make sure you don’t hurt your partner. But outside of that, there’s absolutely nothing really right or really wrong you can do.”
Getting Out
Hey, you’ve done the deed. Congratulations. But don’t screw up now. Guys, when you pull out, grab the condom, hold on, and pull out slowly. Spillage is bad. You put that thing on for a reason, make sure you use it correctly. Don’t wait a long time to pull out, either. Instantaneous removal isn’t essential, but shrinkage can cause spillage, so watch out.
Aftermath
There are a few things you should know about after-sex. One is cleanup. Condoms are pretty neat and tidy, but have some Kleenex (or at least an old T-shirt) handy just in case.
Another is the smell. You may have heard people talk about the smell of sex, but you probably don’t know what it is till you’ve done it. Barry loved it then, and loves it now. He first smelled it after having sex for the first time at age 16. “Mmmm. I didn’t shower for two days!” he reminisces. Now, while we don’t necessarily recommend this particular course of action, a little reveling in the scent isn’t a bad thing.
Finally, while guys won’t be left with many physical reminders after their first time, women might notice a little bleeding. No big deal — it should hardly be enough to qualify as spotting, and should go away quickly. “I noticed a little blood in the shower afterward, but it was gone by the next morning,” says Gretchen. Women might also be a little sore or tender the day after, but that feeling should also go away soon.
So good luck, and remember: No one really knows what to do the first time around. But folks have been successfully bonking for millions of years. They all figured it out. And you will too. So relax, take it slow, and don’t worry about any sexual snafus. Just do what seems natural and comfortable. “There won’t be any swinging from the chandeliers at first,” says Sharon. “That’ll happen in time. You have to figure out what works with the person you’re with. And that’s true when you’re with any new person for the first time — it doesn’t matter if it’s your first lover, or your tenth.”
So, the rundown… the spark notes version to having sex for the first time and tips to make it even better
Talk it up. Not with your friends — although they might be able to give you some good advice. Talk to you partner before the big night. Talk about your experience, your concerns, your expectations. If you can talk about it before sex, it’ll be easier to talk about it during and after, too. And make sure to ask about your partner’s sexual history. Consider getting tested together to make sure you’re both clean.
Rubbers, gloves, latex, protection Call ‘em what you will. Have condoms on hand. (Oh — in case you weren’t paying attention — use condoms.)
Size might matter. We’ve all heard theories on whether or not penis size matters. We don’t have any answers to the age-old question here, but we can tell you that penis size can make a difference if it’s your first time. If a guy is particularly large, entry and sex can be a bit more tedious for everyone involved. Just make sure you take it slow.
Live and learn. Having some “all but” (as in “all but sex”) experience helps. If you’ve previously been initiated into the joys of making out, feeling up, and giving and receiving oral sex, then sex itself is a whole lot less intimidating. You’re already comfortable with squirts, spurts, and other bodily functions.
Lube job. If you’re having trouble getting in, or if you’re experiencing pain after penetration, you may want to have some KY jelly or other non-oil-based lubricant on hand. If you don’t feel comfortable with lubricant, use a natural substitute — saliva can work wonders. Let there be light? Lights on or off, it’s entirely up to you. Sex is sex, light or no light. But it may help to know that many first timers recommend darkness. You’ll both probably be less self-conscious that way.
No crowded house. Make sure your door has a lock. Use it. The last thing you need is your roomie or anyone else detracting from your first bout in bed.
*All names have been changed to protect the no-longer innocent.
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I’m not that much experienced since im only 15, but from what i’ve heard from my...
I have a 13 inch penis! Who wants some lovin?? ;]
i will text me 612-220-2925
dude ur gay
This was a HUGE help! Thanks!
ok hello my name is steven i am 13 and me and girl friend have been going out for a long time and we decided to have sex and by the sounds of it im small im 5,5 inchs and im wondering so if i use a condom whats thes % she will get pregant ?
what the FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! you’re fuckin 13!!
well im 13 and ive done it loads of times and i didnt get prgenant so i would go for it x
I’m not saying this to sound mean, but just because you’ve had sex several times and have never gotten pregnant doesn’t mean some other girl won’t either. Condoms do prevent STDs and pregnancies but they aren’t 100%. You may have been lucky but that doesn’t mean Steven will.
the reason for the pregnancy not happening is probly you or your boyfriend being sterile
Sexybitch is up for anything xx, I know someone who ran across a busy road heaps of times without looking and they weren’t hit by a car once. I think we should all do the same…
Can you see how flawed your logic is? You mightn’t have got pregnant yet, but how do you know you won’t get pregnant next time you have sex?
Steven, I can’t say what the chances of your girlfriend getting pregnant will be, but I can tell you this. Condoms are only 98% effective at the absolute most. So statistically, if you have sex 50 times, it’ll be like you’re not using one at all for one of those times. And you can easily get a girl pregnant if you don’t use one. It’s a big risk.
Want to be fully sure that you won’t get your girlfriend pregnant? Don’t have sex. Wait until you know you can handle the consequences of having a baby.
Steven, You are a fucking idiot. Your 13. Do you even know what tea bagging is? Do you know what rimjob means? My thoughts are if you dont know the sexual terms you shouldnt have sex. If your thirtteen you shouldnt have sex. Like i said your a fucking idiot. You and your gf shouldnt be having sex AT ALL. If she were to get pregnant your life would be over maybe sooner if her dad finds out. And shes a whore if she sleeps with you at this age. She must not have parents and im guessing you dont either? Your a twat so go fuck yourself if you wanna get laid. Thats what masturbating is for anyway….
dude, Dylan, Just because You’re still a virgin, don’t take it out on the kid. Although I think he should wait, You’re a fucking dick.
dude,Brent you must not be getting laid either because you wanna talk shit to me for feeling the same way you do. The kids an idiot and you must be too. Im not a virgin so go get your “im dating my hand t-shirt” and go somewhere else. I admit i might have been harsh but its idiotic and honestly if you have a 13 year old gf willing to have sex with you shes a little slut no? 13 year olds having sex is a no no. I give my opinions straight forward , i do not sugar coat anything. Just cause you have a problem with that doesn’t mean im a dick. Get off this website kid.
Alright, Dylan, Brent, both of you calm down and behave yourselves. We’re here to give advice and help others and doing so involves giving personal views and everyone’s views are different. Try and act a little more mature and respect other people’s points.
Geez guys, loose the attitude. It doesn’t help anyone. No one will ever take you seriously if that’s how you talk. Dylan, I have no problems with you giving your opinion. I in fact agree with it. There’s no need for the rudeness though. You can easily state your opinion without it.
And no, a 13 year old girl having sex does not necessarily make her a slut. It makes her naive. Someone who knows and understands what they’re doing but continues to sleep with lots of guys; they’re a slut.
I do agree though that 13 is far too young to be having sex. Steven, you have your entire life to have sex. Why rush into it? There is no harm in waiting until you’re older. Have fun being a 13 year old. Worry about sex later in your life.
i had my first sex when i was 18 but i didn’t bleed. is that normal?
tim from ur nickname im going to assume ur a dude, dudes dont bleed from sex, if u do then something went horribly wrong.
if ur somehow a girl however i wouldnt worry about it
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what?
That just goes to show you that brent is probably a 13 year old fag that would rather do stupid stuff then actually talk about the subject at hand.
hi dear, i was just wondering if you can please explain me the reason, why some girls don’t bleed, the first time they have sex. as i got married when i was 18 yrs old and i didn’t bleed during sex and my husband left me cuz my in-laws told him ……if girls don’t bleed during first night,its cuz they had sex before ……but trust me ……he was my first love….
Well, I was thinking about this the other night. Not your situation, but the bleeding thing all together. And I think girls bleed at different ranges because of when their last menstraul cycle was. When you think about it, if you’ve just come off your period, there’s not a lot of blood in there. Midway from ending to beginning you may bleed slightly and if you’re only a day or so away from your regular bleeding day you will have more.
But then you also have to take into account that the hymen is ripping (sorry if this if gross for some of you, but it’s the truth) and so when tissue rips from tissue there is bound of be blood. This varies from person to person. You’re lucky you didn’t bleed. Tell your parents to call a doctor to find this stuff out. They’re wrong and your husband shouldn’t have left you just because two people said something like that.
he is a stupid twat and by the ounds of it you could do better
What a horrible husband and parents-in-law! I can’t believe someone would care about sex so much that they’d leave their wife who they claim to love. I know it sucks, but you’re better off without such a horrible person in your life.
As for bleeding when having sex for the first time, some girls do bleed, others don’t. Don’t worry about it at all. You’re normal. And surely it’s a good thing that you didn’t bleed!!
So not only are your husband and parents in law horrible people, they were also very very wrong about the bleeding thing.
Also, what sort of weirdo tells his parents that sort of thing about his wife??
thank you
this is really funny, but in your case really sad that none of you know. how old are you all? the blood some girls bleed from their first time is from the hymen breaking, and many years ago the hymen having been broken already was a sign of a women not being a vigin, however in todays times, the hymen is known to break during such simple activities such as horse riding, and even intense excersise/ running and what not. girls bleed when the hymen (which is only a light layer of tissue on the inside of the vaggg.) is still in tact, which isnt acctually common these days. that is why girls bleed -______- it doesnt depend on what time of month it is to the person before… p.s, if your husband left you for that, and youve probably been told this before, but your much better off, and now your one person closer to the perfect person. <3
thank you for explaining me all this ….but….i think its too late now as i tried to explain him(my ex- husband) about all this cuz my doctor told me exactly the same thing as you did, but i think he trusts his parents more than me or any doctor and the worse part is……..he is getting married next month and i am taking sleeping and depression pills.Three months after i got married, my father-in -law wanted to have relations with me and i told everything to my husband but he didn’t do anything and then finally when my husband stopped listening to me, i told my parents everything. (i don’t wanna bore you with my loooong story and i am sorry …..my english is not that good but i am trying my best to explain). i went to my parents house for couple of dayz…..then after 3days, my husband called me and said …it wasn’t his dad’s fault as he was just testing my character if i am a good girl or not (as i din’t bleed) and asked for divorce. The worse part is i loved him and still do(i know i am stupid, but he was my first love). i am sorry to bore you with my story but i don’t know why……i just wanted to share with someone.
Wow, the more you explain about your husband and parents-in-law, the worse they sound!
I totally understand how devastating it all must be for you. Although your husband did all of that to you, you still love him and you can’t help that. I know it’s hard to believe right now, but all of this really is for the best. Look at everything you know now. Your husband was a horrible horrible person, and I’m so sorry to say this, but he didn’t love you. You just don’t do things like that to people you love. Look at how horrible your parents-in-law are as well. Would you have wanted to live a life like that with such horrible loveless people? It’s a good thing that you found out all of this now rather than 10 years down the track. The sad part isn’t that your husband left you, but that he turned out to be such a horrible person.
Now that he’s gone you are free to find a really nice, awesome guy who will truly love you. There is a guy like that out there for you, and he will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I know you’re going through a really hard time now, but it’s not the end. This is just the beginning of a better life for you. You need to ride out this tough period, and you will get through it. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but this is a blessing in disguise.
Good luck with everything.
In reply to what LOL said before, hymens are also capable of stretching when a girl has sex for the first time. They don’t always break.
Have you or do you ride horses or do gymnastics and sports that involve excessive leg movement; because this can also cause the hymen to rip, meaning you haven’t had sex but when you do you are more than likely not going to bleed much or at all.
Plus, if your husband left you because of that than he obviously wouldn’t have been good to you or any family you had. It was extremely prickish of him. You could definitely do better.
me and my boyfriend did it last night without a condom cuz the shop was shut. wot are the chances im pregenant help
The chances are very high and you may want to get a test done if you’re not sure.
i think your really silly and should have waited till you got some x
Very bad idea. Always use a condom
Why do people brag about their penis size on educational forums like this o.O just wondering why people are that damn immature. and yes im only 14 y/o so wtf people get a life o.o
i no tell me bout it im 13 by the way x
hey umh i am 14 almost 15 and dont know if you will get pregenat or not i really dont
if any body needs there dick sucked or wanna have sex text me 612-220-2925
I apologize but this isn’t the kind of forum for that. If you read through the previous pages of comments you’ll see that a lot of people come here for outsider help. Please don’t post phone numbers or e-mail addresses on this site. It is immature and dangerous.
hello i would like a gf because i am single pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Join a dating website.
Hey Daniel’s back!
You want some advice? Don’t beg for someone to be your girlfriend. Girls like guys who are confident. Not guys who are whiney and pathetic.
Omg, YES!! Confident guys are exactly what girls are looking for. Every girl I’ve ever known thinks confidence is what first gets them into a relationship.
im 14 me and my boyfriend have been going out since year 7 and we are now in year 9 we both think were ready to have sex but i need some advice what do you guys think x
It is only my opinion but you both still seem so young. You’ve been together for two years or so but that doesn’t mean you’re at that age when sex is a normal thing. I can only say to wait a little longer and get into junior or senior year of high school before you make a real comittment like that.
thanks you have been a great help xxxxxx
Yes, just wait. You’ll know when the time comes
m a vergin 2.. i want to have sex but m a little scared…and im single… dont realy belive in boy friends and girl friends i think its lame … i find that u should just have fun being i a relatoinship sucks u cant be free and u cant have fun oh yes b.t .w im 12 and i know u think im to young
m a virgin 2 :’(
need to know haw to get a guy to have sex with me! i got close to it but…
HELP ME!!!
I LOVE HAVING
Ok, I am only 14, and you guys who think you want to have sex at like.. 12-13 like come on !!!! You may be young but you know what! You could easly still get aids- hiv!! And crap like come on wait a few more years I’m still young too but then I stoped and thinked oh this might be bad ya condoms are good but!!!!!!there’s still a chance of getting pregant or other crap! So you all need to stop and think and stop putting you freaken cell phone numbers on here like come on you might get some crepper who likes to have sex with young people like EW so really!! Stop!!!
i had sex with a guy that has had THE oporation. it was my first time having sex and im a little late, i dont know why i am tho :/ any help?
you might want to get checked cause’ the operation, can spontaniusley reverse itself, thats what happend to me dad and now i have a brother
im 14 and i really wanna have sex with mi bf bt im afraid ..i kinda dont noe wat to do …HELP ME SUM1 …..PLEZZZ
Read the advice I gave to =]Keanna below. It completly applies to you as well.
Okay I’m 13. I want to have sex but lik… I’m not scared but I am.. I mean lik isn’t it embarassing to have a male c u naked? Lik I dnt kno wat I’m doing…at all. Lik I dnt hav a boyfriend but I go to alot of “party” so I hav the chances… I just dnt kno wat to do…plz help
Don’t have sex. The only reason you want to is because of your hormones. From everything you’re saying it sounds like you’re not ready for sex at all. Your body and hormones are screaming yes, but your brain is saying no. Ignore your hormones and listen to your brain.
If you have sex, you will regret it. I can tell from what you’ve written.
someone help me PLEZZZZ
hi, im 17, and me and my girlfriend have been datin for 4 years, and we want to have sex… but every time we’ve tried so far, i always chicken out cause im nervous…. can someone help me??
Dude, I’m 24. Trust me, it’s perfectly normal to be nervous. I lost my virginity at 17. I was very nervous. But i would wait if I were you. Wait until you know you’re ready
. If your nervous just try n’ ease into it. If it takes a few hours so be it. Start kissing ,playing ,oral , and then by that time you both should be excited that you’ll just want to go ahead and have sex. Ease into it at first but then go for it. You can make her and yourself by checking in with her asking her if she feels comfortable or if you need to go slower. The first time requires a little communication. You’ll be just fine.
i am 14, and me and my boyfriend tried having sex last night.. right when it went in.. he popped my cherry. so we stopped/ i was really embarrassed, but my boyfriend and i are so close, he didnt care and made sure i was okay. i REALLY want to have sex with him, but i dont want this to happen agian..
Sweetie, once your “cherry has been popped” that’s it. It doesn’t happen a second time. As long as you wait a few days and take it slow, there shouldn’t be anymore bleeding. And if there is, its minimal and barely noticable. Everything should be fine and it sounds as if you have an amazing boyfriend to help you through this. =3
Me and my boyfriend have been dating and I think I’m ready mentally, but I’m really self conscious about my body, (especially down there) so I don’t know what to do.
Oh, and if you were wondering, I’m a girl.
Any help?
Sweetie, you should never feel self conscious about your own body. And I know that’s a lot easier said than done. But if you’ve been dating this guy for so long he must think you’re beautiful and moving on to the next stage of your relationship shouldn’t change his mind. And for “down there” just remain well groomed and clean and everything should be fine. =3
From a guys perspective I think AngelicEmerald is totally right.
Thanks this site was a big help, i feel less stressed about having sex for the first time.
i’m 15 and me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while now and like we want to have sex and stuff but i’m just worried about getting pregnant. like we’ve done stuff with each other and have gotten close to having sex but we still haven’t had sex yet. what should i do?
the easy fix is to make full usage of sex alternatives, then if you absolutly cant wait to have sex use a condom, however a condom is not failproof and you could still get pregnant so try not to have sex
helllo ppl…x HELP!!! me and my bf really whant to have sex….but im scared …. i really want to as i love him and i whant him 2 be my fist i amm ready … but with all boys in skl slagin of other girls about there bodys makes my nervous …. what sall i doo ?
first i would try using spell check because i almost didnt understand you.
second your feeling nervous about your body because your head is screaming at you that your not ready to have sex, regardless of what your hormones are telling you otherwise. my advice is get comfortable with eachother and then slowly (over several dates and such) get used to eachothers bodies, it will definately help, then when youve taken everything off and you still feel nervous dont do anything, if you dont feel nervous, truely love your boyfriend, and have a condom, by all means go for it
Help!!! The is a eleven yr old girl that humps me 24/7!!is this a goodenough reason to ask for help. if you have any help please post a message with advice that will make stop.if this helps I am 12 yr old
Boy and she is eleven!
Help meeeeee!!!! B b
lol just when i thought that 13 was the youngest ppl we wer going to get, 12 seriously, coupled with that the prob is with an eleven year old? jeez thats funny
anyway dude i cant help you if you haven’t told me what you’ve done to get her to stop. tell me that and ill try and think of something.
btw this is @ Cristian incase the reply thing doesn’t work again
Just push her off and tell her to stop.
ok, i take a break for awhile to fix up some school shit and i find a good honest advice fourum turned into a trolling party
seriously ppl, get a fucking grip. btw, im going to request the mods watch this thing closer, so watch what you post
if anyone has a problem with what i just said go fuck yourself
Totally agree.
I lost my virginity when i was 16, my GF was 14.
It was so cool, i were gentle
We were dating for like 6 months before we decided to do this
Now i’m 17 and we still love eachother, it brought my GF so close to me.
Btw, we done this in the “bushes” on a sunny day, becouse her parent dont wanted us,
to do this yet. And they still dont know. :]
I think this age is fine to “lose it” not too early, not too late :]
good luck for anyone who willing to do it, dont afraid, the time will come.
Dont plan anything at all, it will happen when it supposed to.
We were used a condom, cause i brought one with myself, everytime we met. *giggles*
ps.: Sorry for my messy english.
So my boyfriend just finally had sex this weekend. But the weekend before we tried it too. He couldn’t get it in with him on top so i went on top just so we could get it in and pop. I went down and it hurt so bad I nearly cried and made him stop. Last weekend on Friday we tried to just pop it again so when we finally had sex I could enjoy it and not be in pain the whole time. It popped, and hurt. Now Sunday we finally had sex. It still hurt putting it in, and the WHOLE TIME. We had sex for an hour and it honestly just didn’t feel as good as anything else we did. I knew it felt good for him so I just said it did because I wasn’t gonna ruin it. We had to leave before either of us could finish. But it’s Tuesday and my vagina FINALLY no longer hurts. Like every girl I hope, I know what my vagina looks like. I was talking to my friend and described it as feeling like my vagina got rearranged. She said I should probably look at it and Tuesday now that it doesn’t hurt anymore. It looks like they are two or three strings whatever, your hymen, blah blah blah, one of them is still unpopped, and the popped ones are red like bloody and look so weird ! This is scaring the crap out of me ! It doesn’t hurt, maybe it just needs to heal, but idk who to talk to about this. My discharge has been slighting darker, I’m figuring it’s bleeding a little. But it also smells like my boyfriends penis ? Is that not the strangest thing ?
Alright, first off, you should go and see a gynocologist for this type of propblem because none of us here are doctors . . . that I know of. Anway, any discoloration of discharge can be considered prone to bleeding or an infection. I’ve never heard anything about “strings” being up there so a doctor should really be seen. Even though there isn’t any residual pain, you might still have a problem that is not being noticed. Try not to have sex again until you can have it checked out.
well im a virgin…my boyfriend aint…we been going out for a long time…..he’s wanting to bang with me and i realy want to bang also but im not sure whats going to happen or the consequences!!! ya digg!!! i need advice!!! i dont want to wait any longer!!
how old are u?
it sounds like u r wayy to immature to go thru with this. i no thats not wat u wanna hear but if u wait to have sex, ull enjoy it more an ull be able to have more confident relationships.
im 12 years old me nd boyfriend whose 13 had sex on day after school and the next day i didnt want to talk to him because it was awkard wha should i do
First off, never do that. It makes it seem as if you only used this guy for sex and now that you’ve had it you’re done with him. It can lead to bad problems later on. Talk to this guy and see how he took it. Find out what you both could improve on and try and work things out. Don’t ever just ignore someone after sex. It’s shallow and immature.
Im 14 and my dick is maybe 7 1/2 in on hard but really smaller on soft…… This girl i’ve been talkin to wants to have sex with me and she is experienced…. This is my first time and i dont know if im big enough for her?? And what position is the best??
First of all Eric, this is a educational website pointed to giving advice about having sex for the first time. I just wanted to begin with that but also want to apoligize for my earlier comments to everyone on the forum. Anyways
Like i said Eric this is an educational forum, not a forum on saying how big your dick is. I know for a fact your lieing about your penis size so cut that right now. Even some adults arent even 6 inches so thats blasphemy.
As far as the sex thing goes. If she’s experienced just do it and let her know that its your first time. Best position – eh….any position as long as you get the job done.
Sorry, all….this may be a little scattered,but bare with me
Well, I’ll be 21 in less than a month and have never had sex. I’m pretty enough(at least I’ve been told)But, when a guy compliments me(even just to say I have a nice smile or something)I doubt them. Which would explain why I’m a virgin.ALthough I had not one friend until grade 9(I’m not loking for sympathy,but maybe thats why my esteem sucks sometimes.) Also, since most guys I know(not many)are in their teens. They’re either too young legally for me, so just very immature. Is it normal for me to want to date(or eventually have sex)with a guy who is in his late 20′s?
Also, should I be embarrassed that I haven’t had it yet?
I did almost come close.A guy almost convinced me to have sex with him, and once he started saying that he’ll own “this” and “that”,I was like no!
Although, I’ve never had sex, when I do, somehow I don’t think I’ll have to worry about being naked around my partner and being embarrased….But, whenever I’ve see a penis(obviously porn)I get embarrassed and sometimes a little disgusted…in otherwards, on my first time….would it be normal if I can’t look at it????? Well, I’m gonna get back to Mars
lol jk.
Don’t worry about anything Erica. You seem like a really nice girl who any guy would be lucky to be with. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You sound very normal to me. It’s entirely normal to want to be with someone in their late 20s at your age. Girls mentally mature earlier than boys, which is why so many girls find things hard with boys around your age and younger. Guys your own age will catch up soon though. You never know, you might find a nice, mature guy your own age anyway.
Never be embarrassed for being a virgin. It’s something to be proud of. My girlfriend and I are virgins, and we’re 25. We’re choosing to be because we want to wait until we’re married. We’re not embarrassed at all, and neither should you be. I know it seems like everybody’s having sex but you, but there would be quite a few virgins your age around. The only reason you don’t hear about them is because they don’t talk about it.
Good for you deciding not to have sex with that guy. He sounded like a creep. Good call!
I agree, penises are embarrassing and disgusting. When you find a guy who you really love, and who really loves you back though, you won’t think that about his. You don’t need to worry about that if you find the right guy.
Don’t worry about a thing, you’re very normal. I hope you find an amazing guy to love and be loved by.
I know that confidence is key, but too much confidence can come off as arrogance and it can easily turns guys away from you. I have that problem sometimes when I don’t pay attention. I sometimes ignore guys that I like or I don’t act like the adorable playful girl I normally am because I’ve never had a boyfriend before.
All you can do is maintain eye contact (especially during sex if you’re freaked out by his dong), smile as often as you can, and listen to what he says. These things work, I’m serious, they do.
Waiting to have sex until your married? Haha aka “fag flag”. Lol i dunno why people even get the Idea to have sex until they’re married. It’s bullshit. What possessed you to wait max power? God? News flash life has changed you fool. Why don’t ya just see until you go to have sex with your gf your wedding night and last 3 minutes. She’ll be like “wtf thats it?”. Lol its ridiculous and the biggest mistake you can make. If everything doesnt go well what 25 year old girls gonna want a 25 year old virgin? Its time to stop with that gay ass stuff. Waiting to have sex until your married is stupider than prearranged marriage. Penises are not disgusting. They’re a very wonderious interesting place. If they’re disgusting how come you jack off everynight? I’m gonna stop posting on here dont get your panties in a bunch. There is way too many spammers on this site anyway. -Dylan
Well aren’t you charming Dylan. I’m not even sure why you felt the need to attack me and my beliefs. It doesn’t affect you, and I wasn’t telling anyone else to adopt the same beliefs. I was just stating it to help Erica not feel embarrassed about being a virgin.
So you think I’m a “fag” because I love my GIRLfriend? And despite the fact that you acknowledged my opinion about penises being disgusting? That makes me gay how? And where did I say I didn’t want to have sex? I do want it; I just have a belief in waiting until marriage. My desire for sex is the same as yours. I just have stronger morals than that desire and much more love for my girlfriend than that desire.
Why do I want to wait until marriage? It’s just a belief I have. My girlfriend has the exact same belief as well by the way. We’re happy with our beliefs. The only people who aren’t are people like you, which is weird because what we do doesn’t affect you one bit. So what if life has changed? We know most people don’t have the same beliefs, but clearly we don’t care. We’re quite capable of forming our own beliefs and opinions and not following the crowd.
I’m quite aware that when my girlfriend and I have sex for the first time I probably won’t last long. Why do you think she’ll care though? We love each other. We realise that there are far more important things in life than sex. In fact, if we could never have sex for our entire lives, do you think we’d care? No. Sure, sex is great, but it isn’t important. What is important is love, and my girlfriend and I love each other unconditionally. So even if the sex sucks, or doesn’t even exist, our love for each other won’t change, and that’s what’s important. How do you think paraplegics have relationships? Or victims of bad prostate cancer? They’re unable to get erections so obviously can’t have sex. Could it be that they and their girlfriends and wives realise that sex isn’t actually important? If you want to marry someone, you should love them so much that you don’t care if you never have sex with them ever. If you love them but only if you can have sex with them, is that even love?
And besides, even if I last 3 minutes the first time, improvements can be made the times after. The thing is that my girlfriend and I will be in it together and will be experiencing it for the first time together.
Also, any guy who thinks he can pleasure his girlfriend or wife with just sex is an idiot. You can give a girl far more pleasure without even taking off her pants than you ever could with just sex. So while I might not last long having sex for the first time, I’ve already spent years making my girlfriend happier in bed than you ever have with a girl in your bed by just having sex.
What makes you think things won’t work out with my girlfriend? We’ve been together for nine years already, and love each other unconditionally. If hypothetically things didn’t work out and hypothetically I was looking for another girlfriend, do you think I would care if girls didn’t want to be with me because I’m a virgin? I wouldn’t want to be with such shallow jerk girls anyway. I would want to find someone who realises that sex isn’t important, and that love is important. And if no such girls existed, I would happily live my life alone rather than with one of those shallow girls. But that’s all hypothetical anyway. I couldn’t ever be with another girl. My girlfriend is the only one for me.
You said waiting until marriage for sex is stupider than prearranged marriages, and that it’s the biggest mistake you can make. Why? Care to explain?
You said you think penises are “a very wonderious interesting place.” I don’t. I think they’re gross. But I’m not the one accusing people of being gay.
I suggest you find out what love actually is and then rethink what you’ve written here.
help i wanna ask something
me and my boyfriend decide to have sex, but i don’t know why i feel really uncomfortable about using condoms. Is there anyway that we can have sex without it, like when he’s about to cum, he’ll take it outside ?
Only if you don’t mind getting pregnant. Even with condoms though, the risk of getting pregnant is high enough to cause concern. Don’t want to worry about getting pregnant? Then don’t have sex. It really is as simple as that. Seriously consider it. Why not wait until you’re at a time in your life where if you did get pregnant, you could deal with it.
You could go on the pill but the risk of catching an STD gets higher because there is no protective barrier between his sex organs and yours. There’s also female condoms and douches but the male condom is the best and has a higher rate of non-pregnancies. And what exactly about it makes you uncomfortable?
I just had sex for the first time. I’m a girl by the way.
And it hurt sooooo bad! He barely started putting it in and my body just cringed in pain.
We tried again a few days later and the same thing happened.
Could it be I just wasn’t wet enough?
Okay, it is possible that you’re not wet enough, but there can also be some other reasons. If you’re a virgin it may be because your vagina isn’t used to being stretched like that. Go to Google and look up ‘First time sex exercises’. Another reason could be because you’re clenching your lower muscles. If you’ve ever been to a gynocologist, the doctor always tells you to RELAX. Tensing up tightens the lower abdominal muscles and can make the experience very painful. Try lots of foreplay before attempting sex again.
Ok, so I’m 14. Almost 15. I had sex with a 17 year old and the first time, yea it did hurt, but I went through with it because I knew that if my cherry didn’t pop that it would hurt the next time. Well, the second time I had sex it didn’t hurt much really. And yes this was with the same person, but we weren’t and aren’t dating. Ok so like 2 months later. I had sex with another guy(he is 14), and it felt good..this was like 2 days ago. No we aren’t dating, but he did consider it. Anyways. It did feel good, so I’m hoping the next time it feels amazing
yes, we used condoms…condoms all the way. They come in handy.
Oh, and he pulled out, took the condom of, I sucked him and he cummed in my mouth..I swallowed it and…liked it. ^_^ but yea. Before we had sex, i gave him a bj and swallowed that time too. So basically I swallowed his cum twice..
I am 17 and i have been dating my boyfriend for awhile and i think i am ready to have sex but i am not sure about it how can i make sure i am ready?
The fact that you’re in here asking that shows that you aren’t ready. If you were ready you wouldn’t feel the need to ask, you’d just know.
Just take your time with your boyfriend. There’s no rush. You have your entire life to have sex; you might as well wait until you know for sure that you’re ready. If you don’t then you’ll end up regretting it.
Here’s a good one for you all to get your head around. I’ve been married 25 years. Great woman and all that, I’ve been 100% faithfull, and I assume she has. That’s not the issue. Something has been bugging me slightly for all that time. I had 2 partners before, no problem. I assume that she did, again no problem. The first time we had sex, I assumed I wasn’t the first, so we had some fun. So far so good. Everything went fine in the local lovers lane, nice and easy, enjoyed by both of us. I don’t think I ever thought about it at the time, but from the ease and enjoyment of things a bombshell was about to be dropped – I was the first – I found this hard to believe but shrugged it off at the time. More recently it’s begun to bother me, not the fact that I may or may not have been the first, but, was she telling me the truth – It honestly doesn’t bother me either way really, just the honesty bit – It’s really bugging me. Then another bombshell – I only ever messed around fingering and the occasional blowjob, she came out with…… Bugger me, I had to wait years, I think about 7, and then it was a first for me… Am I missing something here…!!!
I suppose the bottom line is, can it be that simple, comfortable and no after effects for the woman at all. or could the use of other items before sex make a woman more receptive to the main event. And why do women screw with men’s heads… perhaps that’s one for another forum……
I’m sorry but I’m having trouble trying to follow what you’re saying. So are you saying she was a virgin before you? And she didn’t tell you for seven years? What’s this about “fingering” and “blowjobs” as well? Is that all she’d ever done before you? And what do you mean by this?:
“I suppose the bottom line is, can it be that simple, comfortable and no after effects for the woman at all. or could the use of other items before sex make a woman more receptive to the main event.”
As for wondering whether or not she was telling the truth, what reason do you have for not believing her? Why would she lie about it? She’s your wife. Do you not trust her?
im 14 and i have just found out im pregenant and told my bf but he finished with me i dont know how to tell my mum because she put me in a bording school because i was out of control. and now this has happened what do i do??? she will never forgive me for this and only last week she said i could home.xxx
PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!!!!!!!
Well it’s time to grow up fast. You’re going to have a baby and it’s important to recognise that. Your situation sounds very hard, but you need to think about what is best for you and your baby. Remember, this isn’t just about you; it’s also about your baby. There’s another person involved here.
I’m so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. What a selfish arsehole! (Excuse the language but that’s what he is). He’s a coward for ditching you and his baby. It’s not fair that you have to deal with this without him.
As I said, you’re in a tough situation, and no answer to it will be easy. As much as it sucks, you’re going to have to tell your mum. She needs to know. I doubt she’ll be too happy about it, but as your mother she should be supportive of you. Sure, you made a mistake, but you’re her daughter. She should be there for you. I really hope she’s good about it.
You have a couple of options with this baby. Option one is to keep it and raise it. If you decide to do this, make sure you get your boyfriend for child support payments. The baby’s his as well. He helped create it just as much as you, so he should be made to help pay for it. Don’t let him get away with it. You really need to think though, if you do keep this baby, can you give it a good life? Can you give it the life it deserves? This decision isn’t about you. It’s about your baby. If you honestly think you can give it a good life, then by all means, keep it.
If not though, you should consider adoption. There are so many parents who are unable to have children themselves who would love to adopt your baby. Most adopted babies get handed over a couple of days after birth. You often have the choice over how much involvement in the baby’s life you want to have as well. You may want to never see it again, or you may want to regularly see it. You are often able to choose the parents to adopt it as well.
This isn’t going to be easy for you, but you can’t turn back the clock now. What’s happened has happened and you have to deal with the consequences. Just remember though, what ever you do, do what’s best for your baby.
i have told my mum about it and she flipped shes calmed down a bit now but i told her i am gonna keep it
It’s totally understandable that she’d flip out at first. You’ve got that part out the way now which is good. Now she can help you deal with it all.
Good for you deciding to keep your baby! It’s not going to be easy for you at all, but I’m sure you’ll think it’s worth it for your baby.
Make sure that you get your ex-boyfriend to pay child support. It’s his baby just as much as it is yours. Why should he get out of paying for it? Don’t let him get away with it.
Good luck with everything. I hope everything goes well and that you have a happy life with your baby.
im 14 and my 14 y.o “friend” (i guess u can say cuz we dnt go out) have had this off and on relationship (for the last 3 .5 yrs) we fuss and fiight and are besties the next day.recently we took a feild trip out of th country and we stayed in these hotels where we had back padios & we could go into each other rooms w.o gettin caught ( if u were slick ) which my “friend” did and he came into me & my roomates room w.o gettiin caught . he came into my bed and i laid down with him … we LOVE each other (not litterally) so we were cuddling,touching and feeling on each other. then he asked me to “f*ck him” just out like that and i said no one reason cuz i was on my period and the other my room mate was right in the other bed (pretending to sleep lolz) and so he said then “suck my d*ck” and i said ok but wen he pulled it out .. i kinda just stared and i couldnt do it !!! and after 20 min of a failed attempt to try and get me to do sumthin he left and now we wont talk to me at all !! he said hes mad at me cuz he came in my room for no reason … ME AND HIM HAVENT WENT ON A PROPER DATE HAVENT HAD A REAL KISS B4 OR ANYTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF SHOULD I DOOOO HELPPPP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!
Look, if he’s that horny and needs a bj just tell him to go fuck a goat. I’m sorry if I seem in a bad mood today, I’m not, I’m just tired of these girls writing and saying that a guy used them. It’s disgusting and the guys’ fault. I know there are some great and gentlemenly guys out there but it’s really rare to find them. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try. Forget about this guy as best you can and try and move on. If he really values your friendship then he will apologize for doing what he did and never do it again.
OMG that was sum helpful advise =]]]
gracias !
I never thought theirs a website discussing about this matter. Anyways Im 17, Male, yeap i’m a virgin. My friends bullied me when they are informed that i’m still a virgin..God so embarrassing most esp. im a dude..I just lied and told them the story of a girl i met randomly(its true). So we go to a motel,actually she paid for it..Im so nervoous.so wer on the bed yu know a kiss their hold der.but halfway doing it I backed out..damn so embarassing again,maybe she thinks im gay..haha(no im not gay). I told my friends that we did it but actually it aint happen.I kinda realize that i want to do it to a girl I love,yu knw do it first time to some1 yu really have passionate connection.so wen in the year pass,yu rmmber it dat yur first tym is great nd memorable.problem is im ready,mentally and ow yea physically but i havent met the right girl yet..Do i need to cut the choosy crap of mine and just do it with any random girl.. oh god sombody help me..tnx
Okay, being a virgin isn’t something to be ashamed of. Just because you’re friends re teasing you doesn’t mean you have to hook up with some chick and bang her. Really, grow a pair and tell your so-called “friends” to fuck off and leave you alone. If you really want sex that badly then try a little harder to find a good honest girl. Someone who will appreciate you and your honesty in return. It’s called SELF CONTROL, hun, try to obtain it.
You’re definitely doing the right thing. You’ll regret it if you have sex with a random girl who you don’t love.
Don’t be embarrassed about being a virgin. I’m 25 and still a virgin because my girlfriend and I want to wait until marriage. I’m not embarrassed at all! Don’t worry about your friends. They sound like jerks. Why even tell them anyway though? If they ask about it just tell them it’s none of their business. No one knows that I’m a virgin because I don’t tell anyone. It’s no one’s business but me and my girlfriend.
Stop stressing about sex. It isn’t important. You’re placing way too much emphasis on it, and it sounds like you only want to do it because everyone else is doing it and you’re worried about what they think. Screw them. It doesn’t matter what they think. Just do what ever you think is right.
There are lots of nice girls out there who you can meet. Don’t settle for someone you don’t like just so you can have sex. You’ll regret it.
ewew
so me and this guy are not going out. we broke up a while ago. Well i broke up with him and im 15 and we both like each other a lot, know everything about eachother, seriously everything and its been a year since we have gone out but we like eachother. so… should we take things slow if we have sex or should we wait until we go out again for a long period of time to do it?
Definitely wait. You won’t regret it if you do. Focus on how much you like each other instead. That’s what’s important. You have your entire life to have sex, why rush into it?
so we didnt do anything, which i am very happy about. But now i dont know if i want him fingering me or me giving him a hand job. we are hanging out this week and i feel like im being prude.. am i?
That’s good, I’m glad you’re happy with the decision you made.
You can never be a prude. Just do what ever you feel comfortable with. If you have some doubt about it, then don’t do it. You don’t want to do anything you’ll regret. Don’t ever worry about being a prude. Just worry about what ever you’re comfortable with.
Ok im 14 (15 in a week) and my 17 year old friend wants to have sex with me. I want it to but were not even going out together and i dont know if i should. We are both virgins. I have already come close to having sex with the boyfriend i had before but it never happend. Now i dont know if i should have sex with my friend. I realy like him and i want to have sex with him but i’m realy scared. I hate my body and i do not want to do something wrong and i dont want it to be weird. Im also scared that if i dont have sex with him he will not want to be friends with me anymore.
Nie he is waiting for me to tell him if i want to have sex with him or not. Please help me….
What sort of friend would he be if he didn’t want to be your friend because you won’t have sex with him?? If he does that then he doesn’t care about you at all. He just wants to get into your pants. Would losing such a jerk of a friend be such a bad thing?
It sounds like you’re not ready for sex at all. Just forget about sex. It isn’t important. And you have your entire life to have sex as well.
What I’m concerned about is that it sounds like you want to have sex just for the sake of having sex. Don’t do that. Find a nice guy, date him, fall in love, and then have sex.
If I was you I would definitely tell him you won’t have sex with him. If he leaves, then he’s a jerk and isn’t worth being friends with anyway. If he still wants to be friends with you, and he likes you, he should ask you out. That’s what a gentleman would do.
ok i am 16 and my boyfriend want s to have sex and i want to to but i dont no how could and one tell me how
I’m 18 , and got a few questions . We talk about this, but I’m not sure still . Are you suppose to shave down there before ?? He’s 26 , is that to weird ? He wants to fool around , but I’m to nervous. Help?
It’s a matter of preference. Some guys like it unshaved while others like it smooth. Just ask him what he wants. A guy I knew liked it hairy as hell while another said he prefered a bikini wax. It all depends on the guy.
Ok so i want to have sex with my bf, we have dated for 2 yrs now, and we are both ready, what do i do? how do i do it? those are the qeusetions i need answerd, im scared its gonna hurt big time, im scared that its gonna be a bloody mess, is it true? will it feel good after a while? will it hurt him? He is insecure about his penis size, he is 7 inch, is that normal? will that size hurt me? please help me
first of all lol the average penis is 6 inches (when erect) so, don’t fret he’s above average already. As far as pain and bleeding goes, (as said before) you’ll feel discomfort more than pain, and IF you bleed it will be so miniscule that you may not even notice. It doesn’t usually hurt him, it can if the testicles are turned the wrong way or what have you, but that can happen the 100th time as well as the 1st. Don’t fret too much, relax and have fun!
I”m 16 and my boyfriend is 15 (Almost 16) Over the weekend, we had sex for the first time. We’ve only been dating for 3 months, but we really care about one another and this is BY FAR the best relationship I have ever been in. I know a lot of people don’t belive it, but I love him.
Anyway, I found this site AFTER we had sex and I’m really wishing I’d found it earlier. This information is very useful and would’ve made our first time easier.
For example, we weren’t prepared and we had to stop “foreplay” to go and get a condom so we’d be safe.
Basically, thank you for the great information and we are sure to use it to our advantage next time
And for everyone 14 and under who’s posting…. My little sister is 13 and I can’t imagine her having sex so young, please wait until you sure you’re ready and you’ve found the right person. NO REGRETS